Friday, September 23, 2005
Adventure 37: 23rd September 2005
Adventure 37: 23rd September 2005:
“Oh so he’s on training again then….” Lo all tiz I le clair…and it’s a wet Friday…still our Portuguese friend is off until Monday so the pressure is off for a bit and we can actually get some work done.
Wednesday 21st September:
08:30: In to work on time for once, Ryan had managed to get his hair gelled in under 30 minutes so for once timing is spot on. That being said we’re having to leave early since the powers that be have decided that what would really help relieve the obvious strain the traffic system is under, is to dig up the most busy roundabout in town…well done them, that’s all I can say…
Not to be stopped there they decide to do this just as the kids go back to school…The stream of deranged mothers in their people carriers / 4 x 4 off road jeeps is something to behold..I don’t profess to understand the appeal of a huge car with wheels bigger than my car, but I’m sure there’s something about it being big and protecting them or something…luckily it hasn’t rained yet, so at least it’s only the road works they have to worry about….
09:00: “Come on, fag….” Brenty’s being assertive.....I feel a bit like “I’ve only been here 30 minutes and I’m already going out for a smoke” but I figure I’ll leave it 45 minutes next !!!!
10:00: Sorting through the backups, I remember that I really must get the number for the RSPCA. To explain, basically we’ve been ‘adopted’ by a stray cat (not a member of the group but a real cat), who’s basically keeping us prisoner in our home by being far too friendly for his own good. Mandy has taken pity on him, and given him some milk and some food, which barely seemed to touch the sides, and I haven’t seen Donald (our resident field mouse) in a little while, so the omens aren’t good. This coupled with the fact that he only seems to appear in the garden when Jack is out there and yes the cat is black…but I’m not saying anything at all…(I might be turned in to a frog!!). Anyhow, I did a yell.com search for the RSPCA, only to find that they don’t have a branch where I live…not deterred I phoned back their emergency line, and was told that they would send me a “stray cat information pack”…I am waiting with baited breath, for details of a 80’s rock and roll bands latest fan club, newsletter, but I suspect I’ll be disappointed…..I didn’t really want a pack, I just wanted someone to come an pick the bloody cat up and take it somewhere far enough away that it can’t remember where it was last….. On Saturday it decided that since we weren’t falling over ourselves to let it in, that it would jump in through the open living room windows, it’s times like this you wish you lived in a 3rd floor flat …
11:00: One hour to go until lunch, my only respite from this place….today it’s just me and brenty, yesterday and Monday it was just me and quiet rob so I’m bordering on climbing the walls…..
12:00: I’m absolutely not going to start doing anything mad like the Scrutiny Managers request for a list of people with permission to access folders on the main file server, I’ve managed to fob him off so far with things like “ooooh well basically everyone has access to those folders” having said that he has been staring at me disbelievingly so I may not have escaped that task.
12:30: Lunch
13:30: Ok I’m back and I can’t put it off anymore, he’s asked me again if I could this time list all the users with access to all the groups that have access to all the folders…this could take forever and it’s not exactly what you’d call a fun job to do…I tried to deflect him with “why not tell me who should have access and I’ll modify the permissions accordingly”, but he really really wants to know.
14:30: In the thick of it now and it would appear from my initial investigation that I wasn’t that far off before when I said that “everyone has access”, in fact the world and his wife, and his kids and his ex-wife and all her family too seem to have access…
15:30: I discover to my glee that Nunob is off until Monday…apparently his mum is going to have an operation, though I am struggling to understand why he needs the time off when it’s his mum having the operation, but still perhaps it’s a major one and I should be a bit more benevolent…perhaps I consider she’s having a surgical slap for having him, perhaps it’s an operation by proxy i.e. he’s having it on her behalf, fact is he’s not going to be in so we’re all off the hook for a bit…apparently he’ll be available by email, (like I care)….
16:00: The young 1st line guy, TabbyCat (he’s Danish so that’s his excuse), comes over almost nervously….”apparently you’re the guy to speak to about holographics tapes…” he splutters…I consider his statement for about a nano second and then counter with “sorry but I’ve never heard of a holographic tape”, stumped at my witty repartee he sidles back to his desk, only to come back five minutes later “no the tape at horrorgraphics” , “oooh I say that one, what about it ?”, “well the scruitiny guards say that ‘rusty hummock’ haven’t been with todays tape and they’re wondering what to do with it”, yup stumped again…like I can magic a tape out of thin air, I’m just about to impart that interesting piece of wisdom when I remember that I drove over their to collect the tape that rusty hummock haven’t delivered….”ok” I say with an air of resignation but at the same time authority “I’ll sort it”…I quickly jump in the car and drive over to the horrographics office…where upon I’m met by one of the scrutiny guards in full combats and an AK47 assault rifle…nervously I hand the tape out of the window of my car and explain that I’ve come to deliver it for them…”can I see your pass first please” comes his short response….”but I only need to give you the tape”, “it’s regulations sir, I can’t let you give me the tape drive in and turn around and then drive out again”, right….coz I might also have 28 pounds of semtex in the boot…I eventually manage to find my pass which is secreted away in my back pocket (typical) and an absolute nightmare to find when you want to show it to someone….I do this and the guard stares intently at it and mutters “ok”, to which I put it in my coat pocket noticing that he’s still staring at me…very odd….By now the gate has closed so I drive in turn around and wait in front of it. There’s a delay of about 5 minutes since the guard seems to have forgotten that I exist..despite my car being in full view of his camera…I swear they just put it on I really do….
Thursday 22nd Septempter 2005:
09:00: Nothing much to write about Mary Tyrant, our boss is Overdone today and quiet rob is on his training course in London, “how to tell your arse from your elbow in three easy steps…”. Soooo it’s just me and the brentboy, so we spend most of the day talking about encoding and video and audio stuff…I say we I mean he spends the day talking about it and I spend the day listening to him talk about it…he’s not obsessed I promise you!!!
Friday 23rd September:
0900: The bloody cat is still loitering around…It’s got so bad that I managed to phone the RSPCA back and this time I pressed all the wrong buttons on their answering service and managed to talk to someone. They’re sending me a stray cat pack, that has absolutely nothing to do with the 80’s 50’s rock n roll band…including posters and paper collars etc etc…very nice too. Mandy has been proactive, she’s gone and bought some cat food, but by the look it it’s already been consumed, she’s put it out for the cat (Alan) but he’s not interested, so she’s not exactly happy with him. I don’t know what she expects, but the first day he had Tuna, then Roast Beef, then Sausages and now something that resembles dogs muck…I can see the cats reluctance.
Commenting on this to her mum, she says “well if it was hungry enough it’d eat it, I know I would”, note to self remove all food from the cupboards and get mandy to eat the “budget” cat food she’s bought…my little experiment since it’s Friday and it’s basically my turn to cook !!!
10:00: Reading my email, Mary Tyrant our boss, is going to be “working from home” which everyone knows is code for I’m going to watch the telly all day and I might check my email once in a while.
12:00: Email from Mary, can we all supply her with a list of things that we’re working on and things we do day to day…apparently there are bucket loads of things coming up…hmm…I can do a list of things I’m doing now, and a list of things I should probably be doing…not sure I can be bothered though, since the main thing I’m doing now is writing a list of things I’m doing!!!! Aaah I kill me I really do…..Still it’s the weekend, yippe kay ay…..
Saturday 24th September:
07:00: AM !!! Got up at this god forsaken hour of the morning, just so Ryan could be up on time for Paint Balling with his friends…(one of their birthdays)..
07:15: Made a cup of Tea that Mandy won’t drink and a coffee for me that I will (well waste not want not) and called Ryan who roused…
07:30: Downstairs to get Ryan his breakfast, having snoozed for 10 minutes….No sign of Ryan only Jack. “Where’s Ryan” I foolishly ask, “He’s still asleep” comes the obvious reply….Back up stairs in a bit of a panic, to find Ryan where I left him, semi upright but very much asleep…managed to almost drag him downstairs and placed a bowl of Cheerios in front of him…he’s now awake and running around like a headless chicken doing his hair, his deodorant and getting dressed, chrsit when did he grow up ???
12:00: Liverpool v Birmingham live on the telly !!!...Mandy has just taken Jack to his friends house for the day..so we’re alone…
12:45: One of the most boring first halfs of football I’ve ever seen….
13:45: 2-2 the final result not really that impressive, still we managed to score twice which is a bonus….
The rest of the day and weekend just rush by far too quickly, interspersed with me checking the backups are running and shaking my head when I see the times they’re set to run…quick modification here and there and that should be sorted….
Sunday 25th September
10:00: Checking my email, there’s one from Mary, asking for my training plan from the grand wizard…my reply puts it fairly succinctly I think…”hahahahahah that’s a good one, tell me another….”
16:00: “Not much left of that joint, I don’t think we’ll get much meat off it this week..” Mandy is prodding the joint of beef she’s “cooked”, I stifle a laugh, since the only reason it’s looking so small and pathetic, is because she’s exposed it to a nuclear warhead for 3 months…my new knifes come to the rescue though and the result isn’t too bad…luckily.
Monday 26th September
08:30: Just dropped Ryan off and I’ve made it in to work almost on time. Nunob isn’t in yet since I guess he’s coming from Portugal.
09:00: Backups are still running…someone has set the weekly duplicate job for the biggest backup to run at 4pm today….DOH !!!!
10:00: Brenty is in and so is Quiet Rob, and we sit next door to the centre of excellence, the department that is just code for some numbnuts that come from Portsmouth. Therefore we’ve named our department, The Edge of Mediocrity, which I think fits us in so many ways !!!
11:00: Brenty has been at his old tricks of made up words again…The latest one I can remember, is Installability…definition would read something like, an objects ability to be installed…bit of a contradiction in terms that, but I’m not entirely sure why….
11:30: Only an hour before lunch and I’m determined to get this scanrouter software installed (if it kills me)….A discussion has sparked up about frequently asked questions (FAQ’s) to put on the remote dialup software…Brenty is trying to help Rob come up with some questions, however I do point out that unless the question is asked several times it’s not technically a FREQUENTLY asked question at all…therefore we define a new term, the A.F.A.Q, the A. standing for Anticipated…works for me….
12:00: Nunob is in and I’ve got 30 minutes to avoid him…I look busy so that’s a bonus…lots of spreadsheets open, and the help desk software so I may just get away with it.
Mandy then asks if Brenty and I would be willing to do an online MCSE course, which I suppose is something, but since everyone else seems to get classroom led courses, I am a little disappointed….
12:30: Lunch
13:30: Back now…fileserver backup is still running…only another 4 hours to go….and I still cant get this damn software installed without it falling over in a big heap… I think I need to do a flat build of the OS just to get it working, which will kill two birds with one stone…..
17:00: Off to football..
18:45: Made it home…just, my legs are killing me….this keep fit lark is a bit over rated if you ask me…..
“Oh so he’s on training again then….” Lo all tiz I le clair…and it’s a wet Friday…still our Portuguese friend is off until Monday so the pressure is off for a bit and we can actually get some work done.
Wednesday 21st September:
08:30: In to work on time for once, Ryan had managed to get his hair gelled in under 30 minutes so for once timing is spot on. That being said we’re having to leave early since the powers that be have decided that what would really help relieve the obvious strain the traffic system is under, is to dig up the most busy roundabout in town…well done them, that’s all I can say…
Not to be stopped there they decide to do this just as the kids go back to school…The stream of deranged mothers in their people carriers / 4 x 4 off road jeeps is something to behold..I don’t profess to understand the appeal of a huge car with wheels bigger than my car, but I’m sure there’s something about it being big and protecting them or something…luckily it hasn’t rained yet, so at least it’s only the road works they have to worry about….
09:00: “Come on, fag….” Brenty’s being assertive.....I feel a bit like “I’ve only been here 30 minutes and I’m already going out for a smoke” but I figure I’ll leave it 45 minutes next !!!!
10:00: Sorting through the backups, I remember that I really must get the number for the RSPCA. To explain, basically we’ve been ‘adopted’ by a stray cat (not a member of the group but a real cat), who’s basically keeping us prisoner in our home by being far too friendly for his own good. Mandy has taken pity on him, and given him some milk and some food, which barely seemed to touch the sides, and I haven’t seen Donald (our resident field mouse) in a little while, so the omens aren’t good. This coupled with the fact that he only seems to appear in the garden when Jack is out there and yes the cat is black…but I’m not saying anything at all…(I might be turned in to a frog!!). Anyhow, I did a yell.com search for the RSPCA, only to find that they don’t have a branch where I live…not deterred I phoned back their emergency line, and was told that they would send me a “stray cat information pack”…I am waiting with baited breath, for details of a 80’s rock and roll bands latest fan club, newsletter, but I suspect I’ll be disappointed…..I didn’t really want a pack, I just wanted someone to come an pick the bloody cat up and take it somewhere far enough away that it can’t remember where it was last….. On Saturday it decided that since we weren’t falling over ourselves to let it in, that it would jump in through the open living room windows, it’s times like this you wish you lived in a 3rd floor flat …
11:00: One hour to go until lunch, my only respite from this place….today it’s just me and brenty, yesterday and Monday it was just me and quiet rob so I’m bordering on climbing the walls…..
12:00: I’m absolutely not going to start doing anything mad like the Scrutiny Managers request for a list of people with permission to access folders on the main file server, I’ve managed to fob him off so far with things like “ooooh well basically everyone has access to those folders” having said that he has been staring at me disbelievingly so I may not have escaped that task.
12:30: Lunch
13:30: Ok I’m back and I can’t put it off anymore, he’s asked me again if I could this time list all the users with access to all the groups that have access to all the folders…this could take forever and it’s not exactly what you’d call a fun job to do…I tried to deflect him with “why not tell me who should have access and I’ll modify the permissions accordingly”, but he really really wants to know.
14:30: In the thick of it now and it would appear from my initial investigation that I wasn’t that far off before when I said that “everyone has access”, in fact the world and his wife, and his kids and his ex-wife and all her family too seem to have access…
15:30: I discover to my glee that Nunob is off until Monday…apparently his mum is going to have an operation, though I am struggling to understand why he needs the time off when it’s his mum having the operation, but still perhaps it’s a major one and I should be a bit more benevolent…perhaps I consider she’s having a surgical slap for having him, perhaps it’s an operation by proxy i.e. he’s having it on her behalf, fact is he’s not going to be in so we’re all off the hook for a bit…apparently he’ll be available by email, (like I care)….
16:00: The young 1st line guy, TabbyCat (he’s Danish so that’s his excuse), comes over almost nervously….”apparently you’re the guy to speak to about holographics tapes…” he splutters…I consider his statement for about a nano second and then counter with “sorry but I’ve never heard of a holographic tape”, stumped at my witty repartee he sidles back to his desk, only to come back five minutes later “no the tape at horrorgraphics” , “oooh I say that one, what about it ?”, “well the scruitiny guards say that ‘rusty hummock’ haven’t been with todays tape and they’re wondering what to do with it”, yup stumped again…like I can magic a tape out of thin air, I’m just about to impart that interesting piece of wisdom when I remember that I drove over their to collect the tape that rusty hummock haven’t delivered….”ok” I say with an air of resignation but at the same time authority “I’ll sort it”…I quickly jump in the car and drive over to the horrographics office…where upon I’m met by one of the scrutiny guards in full combats and an AK47 assault rifle…nervously I hand the tape out of the window of my car and explain that I’ve come to deliver it for them…”can I see your pass first please” comes his short response….”but I only need to give you the tape”, “it’s regulations sir, I can’t let you give me the tape drive in and turn around and then drive out again”, right….coz I might also have 28 pounds of semtex in the boot…I eventually manage to find my pass which is secreted away in my back pocket (typical) and an absolute nightmare to find when you want to show it to someone….I do this and the guard stares intently at it and mutters “ok”, to which I put it in my coat pocket noticing that he’s still staring at me…very odd….By now the gate has closed so I drive in turn around and wait in front of it. There’s a delay of about 5 minutes since the guard seems to have forgotten that I exist..despite my car being in full view of his camera…I swear they just put it on I really do….
Thursday 22nd Septempter 2005:
09:00: Nothing much to write about Mary Tyrant, our boss is Overdone today and quiet rob is on his training course in London, “how to tell your arse from your elbow in three easy steps…”. Soooo it’s just me and the brentboy, so we spend most of the day talking about encoding and video and audio stuff…I say we I mean he spends the day talking about it and I spend the day listening to him talk about it…he’s not obsessed I promise you!!!
Friday 23rd September:
0900: The bloody cat is still loitering around…It’s got so bad that I managed to phone the RSPCA back and this time I pressed all the wrong buttons on their answering service and managed to talk to someone. They’re sending me a stray cat pack, that has absolutely nothing to do with the 80’s 50’s rock n roll band…including posters and paper collars etc etc…very nice too. Mandy has been proactive, she’s gone and bought some cat food, but by the look it it’s already been consumed, she’s put it out for the cat (Alan) but he’s not interested, so she’s not exactly happy with him. I don’t know what she expects, but the first day he had Tuna, then Roast Beef, then Sausages and now something that resembles dogs muck…I can see the cats reluctance.
Commenting on this to her mum, she says “well if it was hungry enough it’d eat it, I know I would”, note to self remove all food from the cupboards and get mandy to eat the “budget” cat food she’s bought…my little experiment since it’s Friday and it’s basically my turn to cook !!!
10:00: Reading my email, Mary Tyrant our boss, is going to be “working from home” which everyone knows is code for I’m going to watch the telly all day and I might check my email once in a while.
12:00: Email from Mary, can we all supply her with a list of things that we’re working on and things we do day to day…apparently there are bucket loads of things coming up…hmm…I can do a list of things I’m doing now, and a list of things I should probably be doing…not sure I can be bothered though, since the main thing I’m doing now is writing a list of things I’m doing!!!! Aaah I kill me I really do…..Still it’s the weekend, yippe kay ay…..
Saturday 24th September:
07:00: AM !!! Got up at this god forsaken hour of the morning, just so Ryan could be up on time for Paint Balling with his friends…(one of their birthdays)..
07:15: Made a cup of Tea that Mandy won’t drink and a coffee for me that I will (well waste not want not) and called Ryan who roused…
07:30: Downstairs to get Ryan his breakfast, having snoozed for 10 minutes….No sign of Ryan only Jack. “Where’s Ryan” I foolishly ask, “He’s still asleep” comes the obvious reply….Back up stairs in a bit of a panic, to find Ryan where I left him, semi upright but very much asleep…managed to almost drag him downstairs and placed a bowl of Cheerios in front of him…he’s now awake and running around like a headless chicken doing his hair, his deodorant and getting dressed, chrsit when did he grow up ???
12:00: Liverpool v Birmingham live on the telly !!!...Mandy has just taken Jack to his friends house for the day..so we’re alone…
12:45: One of the most boring first halfs of football I’ve ever seen….
13:45: 2-2 the final result not really that impressive, still we managed to score twice which is a bonus….
The rest of the day and weekend just rush by far too quickly, interspersed with me checking the backups are running and shaking my head when I see the times they’re set to run…quick modification here and there and that should be sorted….
Sunday 25th September
10:00: Checking my email, there’s one from Mary, asking for my training plan from the grand wizard…my reply puts it fairly succinctly I think…”hahahahahah that’s a good one, tell me another….”
16:00: “Not much left of that joint, I don’t think we’ll get much meat off it this week..” Mandy is prodding the joint of beef she’s “cooked”, I stifle a laugh, since the only reason it’s looking so small and pathetic, is because she’s exposed it to a nuclear warhead for 3 months…my new knifes come to the rescue though and the result isn’t too bad…luckily.
Monday 26th September
08:30: Just dropped Ryan off and I’ve made it in to work almost on time. Nunob isn’t in yet since I guess he’s coming from Portugal.
09:00: Backups are still running…someone has set the weekly duplicate job for the biggest backup to run at 4pm today….DOH !!!!
10:00: Brenty is in and so is Quiet Rob, and we sit next door to the centre of excellence, the department that is just code for some numbnuts that come from Portsmouth. Therefore we’ve named our department, The Edge of Mediocrity, which I think fits us in so many ways !!!
11:00: Brenty has been at his old tricks of made up words again…The latest one I can remember, is Installability…definition would read something like, an objects ability to be installed…bit of a contradiction in terms that, but I’m not entirely sure why….
11:30: Only an hour before lunch and I’m determined to get this scanrouter software installed (if it kills me)….A discussion has sparked up about frequently asked questions (FAQ’s) to put on the remote dialup software…Brenty is trying to help Rob come up with some questions, however I do point out that unless the question is asked several times it’s not technically a FREQUENTLY asked question at all…therefore we define a new term, the A.F.A.Q, the A. standing for Anticipated…works for me….
12:00: Nunob is in and I’ve got 30 minutes to avoid him…I look busy so that’s a bonus…lots of spreadsheets open, and the help desk software so I may just get away with it.
Mandy then asks if Brenty and I would be willing to do an online MCSE course, which I suppose is something, but since everyone else seems to get classroom led courses, I am a little disappointed….
12:30: Lunch
13:30: Back now…fileserver backup is still running…only another 4 hours to go….and I still cant get this damn software installed without it falling over in a big heap… I think I need to do a flat build of the OS just to get it working, which will kill two birds with one stone…..
17:00: Off to football..
18:45: Made it home…just, my legs are killing me….this keep fit lark is a bit over rated if you ask me…..
# posted by cre8 @ 6:02 AM 
