Sunday, December 11, 2005
Adventure 44: 5th December 2005
AD44
5th December 2005
“like a scene from the exorcist….” Right well it’s Monday again that can mean only one thing…depression central t’business…
Monday 5th December 2005
09:00: Not much to report, since there’s no one in, Mandy is complaining she’s coming down with my cold, well, it’s good to share…I’ve got tomorrow off thank god, however that’s tinged with the undoubted certainty that my wallet will be attacked from the various angles that Mandy can get to it by….as such there’s not really anything else to report…
Tuesday 6th December 2005
06:bloody:00am ! Yup it’s Tuesday and that means Basketball…oh great…So I’ve managed to get up and get Ryan up and he looks like I’m feeling. I make his breakfast and go back to bed…
07:00: Up with a start…I hear the tones of Ryans friends mum’s People carrier, she’s early…Ryan is rushing about like a mad thing…”She’s early” I grunt at him, “yeah I know” comes his reply…”Has Mark knocked on the door yet ?” I ask him, “yes a few times” comes his inspired response….”and you haven’t answered the door ?”, “no not yet”…luckily they’re used to this response from Ryan and he’s quickly out the door and away…ahhh 30 minutes and I have to get Jack up….
08:00: Damn it! Must reset the alarm next time…I drag Jack kicking and screaming out of bed and downstairs (thump thump thump), I force feed him some cookie crisps, because he’s really not awake and make sure he get’s dressed…I take Mandy a cup of tea up…
08:30: Mandy has the dreaded lurgy…namely Flu…she’s in bed and so I’m having to take Jack to school….so much for the “on leave” lie-in…
09:00: The one good thing to come out of Mandy being too ill to get out of bed is that my wallet is safe (for now)….
10:00: I figure I should do the washing up which now consists of every cup and bowl that we possess, I swear we have people coming in over night making themselves sandwiches etc…
10:30: Alan (the cat) is sat by the door and since there doesn’t seem to be much of a hope of him giving up I give in and feed him…Not an easy trick since Alan likes to try and trip you up…He seems to now have taken up residence in the garage since every time I go in there now for something other than to feed him, he has a look on his face like “what the hell are you doing here ??”….
12:00: It’s no good…I submit to making some lunch…Mandy doesn’t want anything, so I make my tuna sandwich, packet of crisps and chocolate bar and a cup of tea and coffee and go and eat it in front of her (god I’m kind aren’t I ?)
14:00: One hour until I have to get Jack…the time just vanishes…I go in to the kitchen to discover that our invisible friends have been back, since all the cups and bowls and cutlery that I washed up this morning are back on the kitchen side again requiring my washing up skills….
15:00: Up at the school waiting for Jack. David Cameron has just been voted in as Tory leader, and with that news ringing in my ears I make my way down to the school to wait for Jack. The other mums (in the main) and the odd dad are busy pacing up and down, their 4x4’s and people carriers extending their way up the hill by the school like a steel and glass python, predominantly grey with the odd flash of green and red…Jack hands me his lunchbox and book bag…and we’re off up the hill…back to the car which is now completely boxed in.
15:30: Just about to turn in to our road when Jack spot’s Ryan getting off the bus. He’s obviously spotted us because now it’s…..A RACE…I turn in to our drive, Ryan is running across the road, I pull up to our drive, Ryan is just approaching the front garden…I stop the car, Jack leaps out and touches the door first…we all end up laughing on the door step..(strange our family)…I explain to the kids that Mum isn’t well and could they keep the noise down accordingly, so of course that means that Ryan can go up to his room and turn on his music, which then requires Jack to go and shout at him from his room to turn it down “BECAUSE MUM’S NOT WELL”…well done that man…
Nothing much else to report…it was a day I had to take to use up my leave so I wasn’t overly bothered….but it’s a shame Mandy wasn’t feeling so great…
Wednesday 7th December 2005
09:00: I’d emailed Mary Tyrant last night to explain that I needed to take both Jack and Ryan to school and so I was going to be in a bit late…I’d also asked that if it was possible “could I work from home ?” but I got a cryptic reponse that due to the fact there was a “staffing crisis” this wouldn’t be possible…odd…very odd…So I emailed In and said could I just come in a little later and leave a little earlier…I got a “that’s fine” response…having been fairly frantic for the last hour or so, it was good to get to work, for a bit of a rest. Basra, Quiet Rob and Brenty are all in, some staffing crisis…as is Nunob (worst luck) and Mary…11:30: Mary comes over to me and asks me to step in to the office recently vacated by a very cheery Bill Zunpronoucable. I’m guessing he’s going home for the Christmas break….and he was “happy holiday”-ing everyone on his way out, which I guess is the give away.
11:45: I’m in the office now…I’m fairly sure I haven’t done anything wrong…Mary comes in and explains that one of the 2nd line guys who used to commute from Posthumouth to Overdone, has handed in his notice. Further “tha blaggard” has announced that he isn’t going to work until the 23rd of December as they’d hoped but in fact wouldn’t be coming back on Monday.
Well hold the back page, I’m stunned (ok I’m not). So in a fit of peak and retribution, they’ve moved him from Overdone to Backofbeyond and put him in CD2 to do some really meaningless work..and the legal department are and I quote “going to throw the book at him”. I fully expect that that’s all they’ll do in fact since throwing some large heavy books at the guy is going to be a lot cheaper than taking him to court for breach of con-trick. Still at least putting him CD2 with meaningless jobs to do, is holding up the true professional behaviour you’d expect of a company as big as Dbd. At least we’re not sinking to childish behaviour to make a point…..
12:20: The day so far is going ok…the hiccups have been fine so far.
12:30: Lunch…and the land of the dead…There’s something quite odd about eating your lunch in bed…
13:30: Back now…As are the boys…
14:30: “So cre8, have you got the raffle ticket ?”, brenty asks, “err what raffle ticket is that then ?”, he seems quite concerned, “the one for Christmas Dinner” he explains somewhat curtly, “no, I gave them back” I reply, “Why did you do that ?” he asks again….”well I had the wrong Christmas dinner, you were on leave, Rob was off that day, Basra, was going to be somewhere else and Corvette didn’t want to go, so I figured, my holding on to the tickets and the prospect of me going and sitting there on my own like a prick at a wedding was all a bit pointless…” I’m getting my own back now, he just sighs and makes for the exit, so he can go and get his free school dinner ticket…Rob who’s had his leave cancelled for that day is following him as is now Basra and Corvette…must have been something I said….
15:00: My mobile is ringing…another bloody agency no doubt, but no, just goes to show how wrong you can be doesn’t it. It’s QRob, he want’s to know if I want to now come with them to Christmas dinner in the canteen on the 14th, them all having thrown a wobbly at my giving back the tickets, since none of them were showing any signs of wanting to go…it’s amazing what a free lunch will do to people…Now I’m good enough, now I’m invited, but when I mention it before, I’m not…Since my experience of the canteen food isn’t the greatest (took me back 20 years to school) I decline and suffer the abuse that that declination then ensues, well what do they expect huh ? Treat me like a bloody after-thought…I’ll teach ‘em ;-)…or prapps I won’t…I am going to the proper one on the 20th that’s at a proper restaurant, where they’re able to cook (I hope), without using gallons of chip fat..even better I don’t have to pay for the privilege, so that has to be a good thing.
16:00: Off to collect POD now from Spitfire Dave’s…I can’t inflict him on them for too long….
Thursday 8th December 2005
09:00: Made it in having dropped the sprogs off at school.
Mandy still isn’t out of bed and she’s only just conscious….
10:00: Not much to report today, the hiccups are in a bit of a mess, but that’s to be accepted, every now and then…
15:00 Looking on the bright side (as you have to), Nunob is packing his stuff away, he’s going home (Portugal) now and won’t be back until Monday..you have to thank heaven for small mercies now don’t you…
Friday 9th December 2005
09:00: Once again, dropped the kids off…I’m getting almost average at this now…It’s absolutely dead….no one is in the tumble weeds are well err tumbling down the corridor and someone has neglected to turn on the lights…This will mean at some point someone will do their impression of a lighting engineer during a rock opera, and we’ll all collapse with epileptic fits, because rather than just turn on all the lights, they’ll decide to just try and find their one’s meaning that every light in the office will be switch off and back on rapidly for at least five minutes….
10:30: The disco without music has started…it’s getting harder and harder to see my screen..the hiccups appear to be in a right mess again (cuh!)…and my idea of using a DHCP server to allocate server IP addresses has been smacked down by that Portuguese git….time to put my eyes in, nothing else can go wrong today…
11:30: Just heading out the door, since I managed to drop one of my contact lenses…somewhere in the loo.. Trouble is I can see it, worst of all is the fact that I’d already got one of my lenses in no probs, so I then had to take that one out and try and get it back in it’s little pot…So I’m going home to get another one for my left eye..
12:00: Just made it back…eyes are back in and the world doesn’t seem such a dark place…To improve things further, Richman has phoned to say that my Flaky Drive has been repaired and sent back to them…He’s going to get Tossy to drive it back to me in about 5 mins….
12:25: Sure enough, Lin Console 2 has phoned (that’s what it comes up with on my phone when reception ring through), to say a box has been delivered for me…
12:30: Lunch + Flaky drive.
13:30: Back from the land of the dead…looking forward to plugging in my 300GB of storage….
14:30: Not much else happening, Brenty is in a silly mood which is fairly infectious…so we’re talking about movies and great stuff like that..well it passes the time…
15:30: Half an hour to go, (gotta pick up Jack again), the phone rings and it’s Mandy, to say that Ryan has been sent home from school…with the FLU !!! Oh triffic I can sense the claws of illness closing around on me…I’ll use POD as a shield, they’ll never infect us both…..
16:30: Been home about 10 minutes or so, so I figure I’ll plug in my Flaky drive and make sure it works…guess what..it doesn’t…really really not very happy about this…since the fault it went away with doesn’t seem to have been fixed…stroppy email is quickly writtend and sent….
16:45: Since I have my work Flaky at home I figure I’ll give that a try..only to discover that it also doesn’t seem to work..curiously with the same problem as the other one. I plug it in again, this time using it’s power supply and voila the problem goes away…So just to make sure I plug in my own Flaky to the work power supply and….the problem goes away. Therefore the problem isn’t the drive so much as the power supply, which I’d never sent them (their request not to send it)….damn…gotta write an apology email to Flaky now…bugger!...I simply explain the resolution to the problem, with a “please accept my apologies” then hit send…..
17:00: Normally you look forward to the weekend…but this one could be a hard one, with 50% of the family down..it’s looking like it could be hard work…. Still day off again on Monday…
5th December 2005
“like a scene from the exorcist….” Right well it’s Monday again that can mean only one thing…depression central t’business…
Monday 5th December 2005
09:00: Not much to report, since there’s no one in, Mandy is complaining she’s coming down with my cold, well, it’s good to share…I’ve got tomorrow off thank god, however that’s tinged with the undoubted certainty that my wallet will be attacked from the various angles that Mandy can get to it by….as such there’s not really anything else to report…
Tuesday 6th December 2005
06:bloody:00am ! Yup it’s Tuesday and that means Basketball…oh great…So I’ve managed to get up and get Ryan up and he looks like I’m feeling. I make his breakfast and go back to bed…
07:00: Up with a start…I hear the tones of Ryans friends mum’s People carrier, she’s early…Ryan is rushing about like a mad thing…”She’s early” I grunt at him, “yeah I know” comes his reply…”Has Mark knocked on the door yet ?” I ask him, “yes a few times” comes his inspired response….”and you haven’t answered the door ?”, “no not yet”…luckily they’re used to this response from Ryan and he’s quickly out the door and away…ahhh 30 minutes and I have to get Jack up….
08:00: Damn it! Must reset the alarm next time…I drag Jack kicking and screaming out of bed and downstairs (thump thump thump), I force feed him some cookie crisps, because he’s really not awake and make sure he get’s dressed…I take Mandy a cup of tea up…
08:30: Mandy has the dreaded lurgy…namely Flu…she’s in bed and so I’m having to take Jack to school….so much for the “on leave” lie-in…
09:00: The one good thing to come out of Mandy being too ill to get out of bed is that my wallet is safe (for now)….
10:00: I figure I should do the washing up which now consists of every cup and bowl that we possess, I swear we have people coming in over night making themselves sandwiches etc…
10:30: Alan (the cat) is sat by the door and since there doesn’t seem to be much of a hope of him giving up I give in and feed him…Not an easy trick since Alan likes to try and trip you up…He seems to now have taken up residence in the garage since every time I go in there now for something other than to feed him, he has a look on his face like “what the hell are you doing here ??”….
12:00: It’s no good…I submit to making some lunch…Mandy doesn’t want anything, so I make my tuna sandwich, packet of crisps and chocolate bar and a cup of tea and coffee and go and eat it in front of her (god I’m kind aren’t I ?)
14:00: One hour until I have to get Jack…the time just vanishes…I go in to the kitchen to discover that our invisible friends have been back, since all the cups and bowls and cutlery that I washed up this morning are back on the kitchen side again requiring my washing up skills….
15:00: Up at the school waiting for Jack. David Cameron has just been voted in as Tory leader, and with that news ringing in my ears I make my way down to the school to wait for Jack. The other mums (in the main) and the odd dad are busy pacing up and down, their 4x4’s and people carriers extending their way up the hill by the school like a steel and glass python, predominantly grey with the odd flash of green and red…Jack hands me his lunchbox and book bag…and we’re off up the hill…back to the car which is now completely boxed in.
15:30: Just about to turn in to our road when Jack spot’s Ryan getting off the bus. He’s obviously spotted us because now it’s…..A RACE…I turn in to our drive, Ryan is running across the road, I pull up to our drive, Ryan is just approaching the front garden…I stop the car, Jack leaps out and touches the door first…we all end up laughing on the door step..(strange our family)…I explain to the kids that Mum isn’t well and could they keep the noise down accordingly, so of course that means that Ryan can go up to his room and turn on his music, which then requires Jack to go and shout at him from his room to turn it down “BECAUSE MUM’S NOT WELL”…well done that man…
Nothing much else to report…it was a day I had to take to use up my leave so I wasn’t overly bothered….but it’s a shame Mandy wasn’t feeling so great…
Wednesday 7th December 2005
09:00: I’d emailed Mary Tyrant last night to explain that I needed to take both Jack and Ryan to school and so I was going to be in a bit late…I’d also asked that if it was possible “could I work from home ?” but I got a cryptic reponse that due to the fact there was a “staffing crisis” this wouldn’t be possible…odd…very odd…So I emailed In and said could I just come in a little later and leave a little earlier…I got a “that’s fine” response…having been fairly frantic for the last hour or so, it was good to get to work, for a bit of a rest. Basra, Quiet Rob and Brenty are all in, some staffing crisis…as is Nunob (worst luck) and Mary…11:30: Mary comes over to me and asks me to step in to the office recently vacated by a very cheery Bill Zunpronoucable. I’m guessing he’s going home for the Christmas break….and he was “happy holiday”-ing everyone on his way out, which I guess is the give away.
11:45: I’m in the office now…I’m fairly sure I haven’t done anything wrong…Mary comes in and explains that one of the 2nd line guys who used to commute from Posthumouth to Overdone, has handed in his notice. Further “tha blaggard” has announced that he isn’t going to work until the 23rd of December as they’d hoped but in fact wouldn’t be coming back on Monday.
Well hold the back page, I’m stunned (ok I’m not). So in a fit of peak and retribution, they’ve moved him from Overdone to Backofbeyond and put him in CD2 to do some really meaningless work..and the legal department are and I quote “going to throw the book at him”. I fully expect that that’s all they’ll do in fact since throwing some large heavy books at the guy is going to be a lot cheaper than taking him to court for breach of con-trick. Still at least putting him CD2 with meaningless jobs to do, is holding up the true professional behaviour you’d expect of a company as big as Dbd. At least we’re not sinking to childish behaviour to make a point…..
12:20: The day so far is going ok…the hiccups have been fine so far.
12:30: Lunch…and the land of the dead…There’s something quite odd about eating your lunch in bed…
13:30: Back now…As are the boys…
14:30: “So cre8, have you got the raffle ticket ?”, brenty asks, “err what raffle ticket is that then ?”, he seems quite concerned, “the one for Christmas Dinner” he explains somewhat curtly, “no, I gave them back” I reply, “Why did you do that ?” he asks again….”well I had the wrong Christmas dinner, you were on leave, Rob was off that day, Basra, was going to be somewhere else and Corvette didn’t want to go, so I figured, my holding on to the tickets and the prospect of me going and sitting there on my own like a prick at a wedding was all a bit pointless…” I’m getting my own back now, he just sighs and makes for the exit, so he can go and get his free school dinner ticket…Rob who’s had his leave cancelled for that day is following him as is now Basra and Corvette…must have been something I said….
15:00: My mobile is ringing…another bloody agency no doubt, but no, just goes to show how wrong you can be doesn’t it. It’s QRob, he want’s to know if I want to now come with them to Christmas dinner in the canteen on the 14th, them all having thrown a wobbly at my giving back the tickets, since none of them were showing any signs of wanting to go…it’s amazing what a free lunch will do to people…Now I’m good enough, now I’m invited, but when I mention it before, I’m not…Since my experience of the canteen food isn’t the greatest (took me back 20 years to school) I decline and suffer the abuse that that declination then ensues, well what do they expect huh ? Treat me like a bloody after-thought…I’ll teach ‘em ;-)…or prapps I won’t…I am going to the proper one on the 20th that’s at a proper restaurant, where they’re able to cook (I hope), without using gallons of chip fat..even better I don’t have to pay for the privilege, so that has to be a good thing.
16:00: Off to collect POD now from Spitfire Dave’s…I can’t inflict him on them for too long….
Thursday 8th December 2005
09:00: Made it in having dropped the sprogs off at school.
Mandy still isn’t out of bed and she’s only just conscious….
10:00: Not much to report today, the hiccups are in a bit of a mess, but that’s to be accepted, every now and then…
15:00 Looking on the bright side (as you have to), Nunob is packing his stuff away, he’s going home (Portugal) now and won’t be back until Monday..you have to thank heaven for small mercies now don’t you…
Friday 9th December 2005
09:00: Once again, dropped the kids off…I’m getting almost average at this now…It’s absolutely dead….no one is in the tumble weeds are well err tumbling down the corridor and someone has neglected to turn on the lights…This will mean at some point someone will do their impression of a lighting engineer during a rock opera, and we’ll all collapse with epileptic fits, because rather than just turn on all the lights, they’ll decide to just try and find their one’s meaning that every light in the office will be switch off and back on rapidly for at least five minutes….
10:30: The disco without music has started…it’s getting harder and harder to see my screen..the hiccups appear to be in a right mess again (cuh!)…and my idea of using a DHCP server to allocate server IP addresses has been smacked down by that Portuguese git….time to put my eyes in, nothing else can go wrong today…
11:30: Just heading out the door, since I managed to drop one of my contact lenses…somewhere in the loo.. Trouble is I can see it, worst of all is the fact that I’d already got one of my lenses in no probs, so I then had to take that one out and try and get it back in it’s little pot…So I’m going home to get another one for my left eye..
12:00: Just made it back…eyes are back in and the world doesn’t seem such a dark place…To improve things further, Richman has phoned to say that my Flaky Drive has been repaired and sent back to them…He’s going to get Tossy to drive it back to me in about 5 mins….
12:25: Sure enough, Lin Console 2 has phoned (that’s what it comes up with on my phone when reception ring through), to say a box has been delivered for me…
12:30: Lunch + Flaky drive.
13:30: Back from the land of the dead…looking forward to plugging in my 300GB of storage….
14:30: Not much else happening, Brenty is in a silly mood which is fairly infectious…so we’re talking about movies and great stuff like that..well it passes the time…
15:30: Half an hour to go, (gotta pick up Jack again), the phone rings and it’s Mandy, to say that Ryan has been sent home from school…with the FLU !!! Oh triffic I can sense the claws of illness closing around on me…I’ll use POD as a shield, they’ll never infect us both…..
16:30: Been home about 10 minutes or so, so I figure I’ll plug in my Flaky drive and make sure it works…guess what..it doesn’t…really really not very happy about this…since the fault it went away with doesn’t seem to have been fixed…stroppy email is quickly writtend and sent….
16:45: Since I have my work Flaky at home I figure I’ll give that a try..only to discover that it also doesn’t seem to work..curiously with the same problem as the other one. I plug it in again, this time using it’s power supply and voila the problem goes away…So just to make sure I plug in my own Flaky to the work power supply and….the problem goes away. Therefore the problem isn’t the drive so much as the power supply, which I’d never sent them (their request not to send it)….damn…gotta write an apology email to Flaky now…bugger!...I simply explain the resolution to the problem, with a “please accept my apologies” then hit send…..
17:00: Normally you look forward to the weekend…but this one could be a hard one, with 50% of the family down..it’s looking like it could be hard work…. Still day off again on Monday…
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Adventure 43: 28th November 2005
“And so he’s back….from outa Portugal….”, yup he’s back, back to make our lives a misery once again….apparently he was in Switzerland working but we’ve no evidence to support that theory, so who knows…This week has struggled to start so to business….
Monday 28th November 2005
09:00: I’ve been in about an 40 minutes, I really don’t want to be here, but since I’ve unloaded my various accoutrements, Mobile phone, pass, chewing gum, contact lenses, 150,000 odd bit’s of paper etc etc…oh and set up my laptop in it’s docking station, in the vane hope that it’ll fire up the screen first time of asking, I figure I’m here for the duration….
09:30: Nunob is his happy jolly self, Mary is flitting around like a woman possessed (who knows right ?), and Brenty is sat slumped or more like poured into his seat. There’s a head poking out of a Don’tBeDaft fleece top that he swindled out of one of the senior secretaries a few months ago and he’s looking less like he want’s to be here than I do….
10:00: We pop out for a non smoke..since we’re both being good on the giving up theme…inhaling stale smoke smell is about as close as I’m actually going to get to smoking a cigarette today….
11:00: Honest we were only away for 5 minutes, just couldn’t fill the time in with anything sensationally wonderful.
11:15: Just got an email from my old boss Pester, nice to hear from him, though not nice to hear that his boat yard is about to close because the council has decided to build a new bridge, right where his yard is….may be a discount on the old council tax will be in the offing….
12:30: Lunch
13:30: Back now…Almost as soon as I sit down…”Cre8….are the CoLo proxies installed ?”, he asks in that way that he asks things, like he knows the answer, but wants you to confirm it so he can have a go at you, “No not yet, I’ve managed to pin Basra down to Thursday”…I fend…you have to feel a bit sorry for Basra..he’s off here and there down to Posthumouth, up to Gate Shed, back to backofbeyond…he’s never here…except for Thursday, so since it’s his turn to babysit Mr Numbnuts or me as I’m better known, that’s the day we’re going to go.
14:00: I manage to escape to CD2 (Complete Disaster) where our “Test, soon to become live even though they’re really really crap and old” servers are housed, to do some surfing, looking for jobs and generally work avoidance at all costs….well it is the afternoon and I could really do with a nap…
14:30: Back at my desk now, guilt taking it’s toll. I log in to the Smear Desk “help”desk software and check out if any of my calls have moved from “urgent, past deadline” to “no really really urgent now, someone is going to die if you don’t help me” but just one hit’s my “can I do it ?, do I give a toss ?, will anyone notice if I ignore this” radar….this one has been bubbling around for about 2-3 months and I take it upon myself to do something about it….I have to email this guy called Mikael in our Radish office, and see if he still needs his FTP site setting up, now we’ve finally managed to get the new server up and running.
15:00: The message is sent, time to get a coffee ,do the tapes, get another coffee, surf the net, get a coffee……..
16:00: hmmm I could be in luck…auto response (not that auto if you ask me it’s only taken 1 ½ hours to send a response), from this guy Mikael or rather the email server on his behalf…..apparently he’s left the company…well you can’t say I didn’t try…I close the call…..tomorrows another day…I might go for a personal record tomorrow and answer more than one call…well you have to give people some hope to cling to, now don’t you……
Tuesday 29th November 2005
10:00: He’s working away on something, I daren’t ask….So far so good, the hiccups have all worked wonderfully this week and there aren’t any jobs still running, so all I have to do now is document the fact…Basraman is in but his sidekick is off fighting crime somewhere on his own (QuietRob-in)
10:30: Brenty’s looking confused he keeps disappearing off in to the data centre then coming out looking more and more confused….I know there’s going to be a reason for this…”I don’t seem to be able to get the two MacroShaft servers to talk to each other…” he bleats at me…I look at him blankly it normally does the trick, but then guilt catches up with me and I agree to look at the Firewall…….shit! yeah mmmm…a quick re-enable of the rule that stops those two servers talking to each other …no one will notice, quick slope under the rock you came out of….
11:30: Jady Browntan, (Sod Off Desk Manager (1st haven’t got a bloody clue line)) pops her head over my partition (she’s not very tall)…”Just picked up a call about the Macroshaft servers…”, she queries…”Errr…yes that’s all sorted now I think….”, I may have just about got away with my little miscalculation….”ok shall I phone Dubry sprocket (I can’t remember his name), and make sure”..she presses, “good idea”, I’m bloody good at this aren’t I….
12:00: Jady is walking over again…but not to talk to me oh no, Nunob is her target..and in her best “please mr teacher, spank me ‘till I beg you to stop” voice…she informs him that the reason for the outage on the very important Macroshaft servers, was according to the call log, because “someone had changed the firewall” !!!!!! The caller then asks why it is we aren’t using change control…Oh joy….
12:15: “Cre8, has anything been changed on the firewall ???”, comes the inevitable question from Nunob…I think for a couple of seconds but there’s no escape, so I offer up my sword, position myself over it and get prepared to splice my heart in two…or put another way “Yes, that was me, I was housekeeping the rules and I disabled the wrong rule…”, “ahhhhh ok…” he sighs…with a this isn’t going to get any easier sigh…then curiously nothing..I suspect it’ll be stored up for another one of his fantabulous meetings.. I can’t wait…so rather under a cloud of guilt and annoyance at being dropped in it by a so called bleeding mate…you wait ‘till I see him….lunch is beckoning.
12:30: Lunch
13:30: Back from lunch…nothing to report….
14:00: Brenty asks me if I want to go for another non smoke break…I agree…Once we’re out, I query why it was HE BLOODY DROPPED ME IN IT…”what else was I supposed to put in the call ?” he asks innocently, “well anything like the cable fell out of it again or someone had knocked the power cable or anything but “someone changed the firewall”” I mean Christ !!!...I can’t stay annoyed for long…since he claims it was an innocent mistake and he didn’t really mean to drop me in it…still, I’ll make him pay…..one day…..;-))
Wednesday 30th November 2005
09:00: Well I’m here…but only just….I haven’t even had a chance to put my eyes in yet….
10:00: Eyes are truly in, apart from the one that insisted not sticking either to my eyeball or my finger when I wanted them to, and when I didn’t want them to they did…if you see my meaning…I managed to somehow unfold it on to my eyeball eventually though and now everything is in focus….
10:30: The hiccups have been surprisingly well behaved for a change today….only the usual one’s have failed i.e. the one’s that we shouldn’t be doing anymore since the servers don’t actually exist !..I’ll get to cancelling those jobs one day I just know it…
11:30: Preparations for tomorrows OhNo visit are truly underway..I comment that MFI must have had a particularly difficult decision to make…should they put their hosting centre in Baghdad or the centre of London…tricky one but they went for London, even though it’s actually marginally harder to get to than Baghdad…even Nunob laughs…that’s got to be a first….
12:00: The servers are boxed, I’ve even managed to put labels on them and hopefully they’ll get to their destination on time…I should really do some calls but I’m really not in the mood for helping people today…
12:30: Lunch
13:30: Basraman and Quiet Rob-in are in Posthumous again today..”checking out the new site”…mmm code for having a skive if you ask me….so it’s just me and Brenty…all very quiet…
The rest of the day drifts by, nothing much left to report…
Thursday 31st November 2005
08:30: I’ve driven the Mondeo in today..since it’s a bit leaner on the old juice, so I can make a bit more on the expenses claim…(it has to be done)
09:00: Basra is on the phone (as always) explaining the complexities of something to do with the networks to someone who’s also explaining back to him the complexities of something else…this could take a while…so I go an get a coffee…
09:30: Finally I’ve managed to drag him away from the phone and we’re on our way down the motorway into the hell hole that is London…
10:30: An hour in and it’s all going far to well…”I think”, he says, “ we should turn left here”, just past the lights is a turning on the left..but it doesn’t look like the left turn he’s talking about so I drive past it…”ok perhaps not then”, all too late I realise my mistake, and offer to turn around but Basra is confident he can navigate us to the right destination….
12:30: Ok we’re really crawling along now…the last two hours have been spent behind a queue of traffic, all queued up because a bus has broken down in the middle of the road….3 bloody hours…
12:45: Finally we’ve made it…The unofficial “keep it under yer hat” parking spaces have all been taken so damn it we have to pay to park £3.50 !!! That gives us just about 2 hours to get the three servers racked, configured and access tested…doddle no probs….
14:45: Back in the car now with 10 minutes to spare…that was lucky…Basra is disintegrating since he hasn’t had his statutory 27 sandwiches and 300 packets of crisps that he normally has…out of pity I decide to stop at a garage so he can stock up…I buy a sausage roll and a packet of Sweet chilli crisps (maxi pack obviously)…
15:15: He’s not bad at this holding the crisp packet business and I think we’re both now refuelled…
15:30: We’re bombing it down the motorway…Basra nudges me and I wake up..lucky really since I was driving !!!!
16:00: We’ve made it back to work…that’s a bit of a pain really, as now for 1 hour I have to find something else to do…I check the hiccups…nope they’re all fine…storage, yup we’re bound to be running out of that…nope all fine…there’s a stack of calls I could start going through…but no…well I wouldn’t want to give anyone any false hope now would I ?......
Friday 1st December 2005
Well it’ Friday, there has to be lots of good stuff happening…but there isn’t….
Saturday tomorrow and I’ve got an 8 year olds disco to do, should be good fun…not least fitting both Ryan and Jack in the car along with 4 speakers 2 amps and all my lights…not to mention my light board (newly made especially)….
Monday 28th November 2005
09:00: I’ve been in about an 40 minutes, I really don’t want to be here, but since I’ve unloaded my various accoutrements, Mobile phone, pass, chewing gum, contact lenses, 150,000 odd bit’s of paper etc etc…oh and set up my laptop in it’s docking station, in the vane hope that it’ll fire up the screen first time of asking, I figure I’m here for the duration….
09:30: Nunob is his happy jolly self, Mary is flitting around like a woman possessed (who knows right ?), and Brenty is sat slumped or more like poured into his seat. There’s a head poking out of a Don’tBeDaft fleece top that he swindled out of one of the senior secretaries a few months ago and he’s looking less like he want’s to be here than I do….
10:00: We pop out for a non smoke..since we’re both being good on the giving up theme…inhaling stale smoke smell is about as close as I’m actually going to get to smoking a cigarette today….
11:00: Honest we were only away for 5 minutes, just couldn’t fill the time in with anything sensationally wonderful.
11:15: Just got an email from my old boss Pester, nice to hear from him, though not nice to hear that his boat yard is about to close because the council has decided to build a new bridge, right where his yard is….may be a discount on the old council tax will be in the offing….
12:30: Lunch
13:30: Back now…Almost as soon as I sit down…”Cre8….are the CoLo proxies installed ?”, he asks in that way that he asks things, like he knows the answer, but wants you to confirm it so he can have a go at you, “No not yet, I’ve managed to pin Basra down to Thursday”…I fend…you have to feel a bit sorry for Basra..he’s off here and there down to Posthumouth, up to Gate Shed, back to backofbeyond…he’s never here…except for Thursday, so since it’s his turn to babysit Mr Numbnuts or me as I’m better known, that’s the day we’re going to go.
14:00: I manage to escape to CD2 (Complete Disaster) where our “Test, soon to become live even though they’re really really crap and old” servers are housed, to do some surfing, looking for jobs and generally work avoidance at all costs….well it is the afternoon and I could really do with a nap…
14:30: Back at my desk now, guilt taking it’s toll. I log in to the Smear Desk “help”desk software and check out if any of my calls have moved from “urgent, past deadline” to “no really really urgent now, someone is going to die if you don’t help me” but just one hit’s my “can I do it ?, do I give a toss ?, will anyone notice if I ignore this” radar….this one has been bubbling around for about 2-3 months and I take it upon myself to do something about it….I have to email this guy called Mikael in our Radish office, and see if he still needs his FTP site setting up, now we’ve finally managed to get the new server up and running.
15:00: The message is sent, time to get a coffee ,do the tapes, get another coffee, surf the net, get a coffee……..
16:00: hmmm I could be in luck…auto response (not that auto if you ask me it’s only taken 1 ½ hours to send a response), from this guy Mikael or rather the email server on his behalf…..apparently he’s left the company…well you can’t say I didn’t try…I close the call…..tomorrows another day…I might go for a personal record tomorrow and answer more than one call…well you have to give people some hope to cling to, now don’t you……
Tuesday 29th November 2005
10:00: He’s working away on something, I daren’t ask….So far so good, the hiccups have all worked wonderfully this week and there aren’t any jobs still running, so all I have to do now is document the fact…Basraman is in but his sidekick is off fighting crime somewhere on his own (QuietRob-in)
10:30: Brenty’s looking confused he keeps disappearing off in to the data centre then coming out looking more and more confused….I know there’s going to be a reason for this…”I don’t seem to be able to get the two MacroShaft servers to talk to each other…” he bleats at me…I look at him blankly it normally does the trick, but then guilt catches up with me and I agree to look at the Firewall…….shit! yeah mmmm…a quick re-enable of the rule that stops those two servers talking to each other …no one will notice, quick slope under the rock you came out of….
11:30: Jady Browntan, (Sod Off Desk Manager (1st haven’t got a bloody clue line)) pops her head over my partition (she’s not very tall)…”Just picked up a call about the Macroshaft servers…”, she queries…”Errr…yes that’s all sorted now I think….”, I may have just about got away with my little miscalculation….”ok shall I phone Dubry sprocket (I can’t remember his name), and make sure”..she presses, “good idea”, I’m bloody good at this aren’t I….
12:00: Jady is walking over again…but not to talk to me oh no, Nunob is her target..and in her best “please mr teacher, spank me ‘till I beg you to stop” voice…she informs him that the reason for the outage on the very important Macroshaft servers, was according to the call log, because “someone had changed the firewall” !!!!!! The caller then asks why it is we aren’t using change control…Oh joy….
12:15: “Cre8, has anything been changed on the firewall ???”, comes the inevitable question from Nunob…I think for a couple of seconds but there’s no escape, so I offer up my sword, position myself over it and get prepared to splice my heart in two…or put another way “Yes, that was me, I was housekeeping the rules and I disabled the wrong rule…”, “ahhhhh ok…” he sighs…with a this isn’t going to get any easier sigh…then curiously nothing..I suspect it’ll be stored up for another one of his fantabulous meetings.. I can’t wait…so rather under a cloud of guilt and annoyance at being dropped in it by a so called bleeding mate…you wait ‘till I see him….lunch is beckoning.
12:30: Lunch
13:30: Back from lunch…nothing to report….
14:00: Brenty asks me if I want to go for another non smoke break…I agree…Once we’re out, I query why it was HE BLOODY DROPPED ME IN IT…”what else was I supposed to put in the call ?” he asks innocently, “well anything like the cable fell out of it again or someone had knocked the power cable or anything but “someone changed the firewall”” I mean Christ !!!...I can’t stay annoyed for long…since he claims it was an innocent mistake and he didn’t really mean to drop me in it…still, I’ll make him pay…..one day…..;-))
Wednesday 30th November 2005
09:00: Well I’m here…but only just….I haven’t even had a chance to put my eyes in yet….
10:00: Eyes are truly in, apart from the one that insisted not sticking either to my eyeball or my finger when I wanted them to, and when I didn’t want them to they did…if you see my meaning…I managed to somehow unfold it on to my eyeball eventually though and now everything is in focus….
10:30: The hiccups have been surprisingly well behaved for a change today….only the usual one’s have failed i.e. the one’s that we shouldn’t be doing anymore since the servers don’t actually exist !..I’ll get to cancelling those jobs one day I just know it…
11:30: Preparations for tomorrows OhNo visit are truly underway..I comment that MFI must have had a particularly difficult decision to make…should they put their hosting centre in Baghdad or the centre of London…tricky one but they went for London, even though it’s actually marginally harder to get to than Baghdad…even Nunob laughs…that’s got to be a first….
12:00: The servers are boxed, I’ve even managed to put labels on them and hopefully they’ll get to their destination on time…I should really do some calls but I’m really not in the mood for helping people today…
12:30: Lunch
13:30: Basraman and Quiet Rob-in are in Posthumous again today..”checking out the new site”…mmm code for having a skive if you ask me….so it’s just me and Brenty…all very quiet…
The rest of the day drifts by, nothing much left to report…
Thursday 31st November 2005
08:30: I’ve driven the Mondeo in today..since it’s a bit leaner on the old juice, so I can make a bit more on the expenses claim…(it has to be done)
09:00: Basra is on the phone (as always) explaining the complexities of something to do with the networks to someone who’s also explaining back to him the complexities of something else…this could take a while…so I go an get a coffee…
09:30: Finally I’ve managed to drag him away from the phone and we’re on our way down the motorway into the hell hole that is London…
10:30: An hour in and it’s all going far to well…”I think”, he says, “ we should turn left here”, just past the lights is a turning on the left..but it doesn’t look like the left turn he’s talking about so I drive past it…”ok perhaps not then”, all too late I realise my mistake, and offer to turn around but Basra is confident he can navigate us to the right destination….
12:30: Ok we’re really crawling along now…the last two hours have been spent behind a queue of traffic, all queued up because a bus has broken down in the middle of the road….3 bloody hours…
12:45: Finally we’ve made it…The unofficial “keep it under yer hat” parking spaces have all been taken so damn it we have to pay to park £3.50 !!! That gives us just about 2 hours to get the three servers racked, configured and access tested…doddle no probs….
14:45: Back in the car now with 10 minutes to spare…that was lucky…Basra is disintegrating since he hasn’t had his statutory 27 sandwiches and 300 packets of crisps that he normally has…out of pity I decide to stop at a garage so he can stock up…I buy a sausage roll and a packet of Sweet chilli crisps (maxi pack obviously)…
15:15: He’s not bad at this holding the crisp packet business and I think we’re both now refuelled…
15:30: We’re bombing it down the motorway…Basra nudges me and I wake up..lucky really since I was driving !!!!
16:00: We’ve made it back to work…that’s a bit of a pain really, as now for 1 hour I have to find something else to do…I check the hiccups…nope they’re all fine…storage, yup we’re bound to be running out of that…nope all fine…there’s a stack of calls I could start going through…but no…well I wouldn’t want to give anyone any false hope now would I ?......
Friday 1st December 2005
Well it’ Friday, there has to be lots of good stuff happening…but there isn’t….
Saturday tomorrow and I’ve got an 8 year olds disco to do, should be good fun…not least fitting both Ryan and Jack in the car along with 4 speakers 2 amps and all my lights…not to mention my light board (newly made especially)….
