Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Adventure 23: 31st May 2005
"Phew, those loppers are good..." Hi all, well it's been forever since my last entry... where to begin...let's start as we mean to go on, with another day off (well 2 in fact)...
Monday 23rd May 2005:
Well it's monday and normally it'd be really really bad, but not today because I have A DAY OFF !!!! It's Mandy's birthday tomorrow and I'm laying in bed looking all smug because for once I have every thing sorted for the big day.
It's a funny day today because neither of us have really that much to do, so the suggestion of a trip to homebase, a garden centre and a wood yard, is curiously starting to be a little appealing...
Mandy is on the hunt for a wooden arch to replace the wooden arch that she's selling to her sister Jumblewoman (I'll fill you in on the adventures of Jumblewoman when I get a minute). Ok ok I know it wasn't an arch it was an arbour (save the boat and sea references for someone who's not already done them !!), well an arbour without a seat is in fact just a wooden arch and if you'd seen the arbour's seat then you'd know why I called it a wooden arch.... any how we make it to Herratic's Wood Yard, filled with arches, timber posts, trellice (and all sorts of other things I can't spell). There are about 3 wooden arches for sale. Now bear in mind that a wooden arch consists of four posts, a top bit and some trellice between them, soooo £180 would seem a reasonable price to pay n'est pas ?, I DON'T FINK SO.
Apparently we don't want any old wooden arch (what is this "we" business pale face ?), oh no, we're after a chunky one with rounded posts, sounds like a damn fine idea to me....
I did point out to mandy that a wooden arch doesn't have any where to sit and it's generally used as an entrace to somewhere...therefore putting it at the end of the garden, right next to the back fence might not be such a great idea...but how wrong could I be...apparently there's a stone bench (oh christ!!!) that can be put there...thoughts of musical stone benches spring into my mind and that bugger is heavy !
We leave said wood yard, summarily unimpressed, and head towards cashbase to see if they do any...apparently not, still we "needed" some bits from there so £15 later (a bloody good trip if you ask me), and head home archless....
Tuesday 24th May 2005:
08:00: Shhhhheeeeeeeeeettttttt!!!! The alarm is going bonkers and rightly so, it's bloody 8am and Ryan is still playing his playstation, is undressed, had no breakfast and has to be at school in 20 minutes !!! aaagggghhhh... Oh yeah and for good measure, it's also Mandy's birthday....I can't write in here the expletives I wanted to, "Cre8 oversleeps on Mandy's special day shocker - again !!!", any how I rush Ryan along, getting him dressed and he tears himself away long enough to eat his breakfast, Jack ha ! Jack is still in bed, still unconcious...
08:05: I bring a cup of tea to the birthday girl and explain to her the situation, apologising profusely, I give her, her cards from the boys and she very nicely says that it doesn't matter and she'll open her presents from the boys when they get back after school...I'm still annoyed..
08:10: Leave to take Ryan to school, I'll be back to take Jack in a bit...Drop Ryan off at the ASDABMoreExpensive lights and race back home, in time to find Jack as slow as you like eating his breakfast....
08:30: I'm in a blind panic, POD is putting his shoes on as slow as he likes, and has completely forgotten that it's Mum's birthday, Ryan at least gave the cursory "Happy Birthday", still when you're 9 there are other things on your mind I guess....
08:35: I manage to drop Jack just in time and then back home for a collapse and heart attack.
10:00: As promised Mandy and I are off in to town to go shopping with her birthday money, there is CCTV of me being dragged kicking and screaming in to the centre, (that was deliberate), I'm hoping to get on Crimewatchanddonothing this month....
14:00: We stop for lunch, knowing that we have to pick Jack up at 3:20pm sooo an hour and 20 minutes to get served, in PizzaShed ? Ha ? Fat chance... Luckily Mandy manages to phone Lynne (her friend) to ask if she could pick up Jack.
15:00: We're on the way out of town, even Mandy has had enough !!! (hold the back page)
15:30: Parked up outside Lynne's house, waiting for her to get back from school.
16:00: Back home with Jack and Ryan saunters in....present time!!!
16:30: Ryan's present a very nice bangle that Mandy had chosen goes down a storm, Jack has chosen a new notebook and some fancy pens, and they've both given her a Vase and Candle holder again which she chose, my present was spent during the day (well some of it was), and as a token gift, I've given her her very own toolbox, complete with Hammer (oh god) and screwdriver sets. I'm a little worried about the spirit level since I know this will mean my shelves etc will now really have to be level !!!
17:30: Over to Dave, Spitfire, and Ollie, feedingofthefivethousand's for dinner, the night before they move !!!! Quite why or how I can't answer, but somehow amongst the chaos of boxes and tape etc, there's a functioning cooker and the evidence would seem to be that it's functioning very well....
Wednesday 25th May 2005:
A day to go down in history....Work was nothing to write home about, Corvette, InvisDave, Quiet Rob, Brentboy, all there all present, but my mind is somewhere else....yup Champions League Final, my team Liverpool are the most unlikely finalists, but hey they're there and I don't care....
19:00:
So it begins, well the hour long mindless drivel pushed out by the so called pundits, who if they say anything, is lost amongst the hours of prose they choose to put in front of their points...
20:00: Kick off ! - Ryan and I are on the edge of our prospective seats....
20:01: Bugger 1 nil to AC Milan, couldn't have started worse if they'd tried....
20:34: Penalty !!! no not given, bloody ref....
20:34-30seconds: Bugger Bugger, 2 nil to AC Milan, this could be a bad night...Ryan has started crying....
20:44: Oh for christ sake this is taking the P!$$ 3 nil to AC Milan - Ryan is crying, screaming and banging his head against the wall...Me I've seen my fair share of complete surrenders in my time and I'm therefore not that surprised, still it's only 3 - 0 so it could be worse (gulp)...
21:00: Second half starts, Didi Hamman is on and the team is playing much better (I think the management slipped them a micky finn at half time and the don't realise they're 3 - 0 down...
21:10: Goal !!! Stevie Gerrard !!!! 3-1 to AC now, still gotta get 2 goals..to force extra time...
21:15: Goal !!! Vladimir Smicer with an absolute thunder bolt from 35 yards, now I'm beginning to beleive, but that last goal could be tricky to come by...
21:25: Penalty !!!! Gerrard hauled down, Ryan is over the moon, I did point out that we have to score the penalty first !!
21:30: Penalty is saved by the AC Milan goalkeeper, but then GOAL !!! Smashed home by Xavi Alonso 3 - 3, I don't think my heart can take much more....
21:45: Extra time !!! ( I really can't take it), they're all over us like a rash, we've got no legs left....I can see a goal coming any time now...
22:14: Header by chevchenko, saved by dudek, rebounds to him 3 yards out, Dudek saves again from point blank range...I tell you, our name is on the cup this year....
22:15: Penalties....gulp, I'm really not looking forward to it....
22:20: AC have missed their first two pen's and we've scored ours...they score their 3rd, John Arne Rise has his saved....2-1 to us on pen's .... 3-2 to us on pens...chevchenko next for AC...he has to score or we win....SAVED !!!! by dudek - 4 -2 to us on pens
22:30: Ryan and me are dancing around the front room, in full view of everyone, I don't care, I really don't care...then my parent instinct comes back..."time to go up now then mate" (like he's gonna sleep !!!)
22:45: We watch the cup presentation and he then goes up gets himself ready and in to bed....
Thursday 27th May 2005:
Morning after the night before, work is a buzz about yesterdays match....Quiet Rob, is telling everyone a hundred reasons why Liverpool shouldn't have been champions, bloody Arsenal fans, should just be pleased, maybe one day they'll win some thing important you never know !!! ;-))
The rest of the day is all a bit pointless, and consists of me surfing, doing some more surfing and then surfing some more....
Friday 28th May 2005:
Last day before a bank holiday weekend hurrrah!!!... The grand wizard comes over, "got a problem, we need to put together something quick for resilient systems", "triffic"...I'm actually looking forward to doing something, ok I've arranged our monthly weekly meeting but that doesn't exactly involve a lot of thinking...
That takes me all day pretty much, so at least I'm occupied....
Monday 23rd May 2005:
Well it's monday and normally it'd be really really bad, but not today because I have A DAY OFF !!!! It's Mandy's birthday tomorrow and I'm laying in bed looking all smug because for once I have every thing sorted for the big day.
It's a funny day today because neither of us have really that much to do, so the suggestion of a trip to homebase, a garden centre and a wood yard, is curiously starting to be a little appealing...
Mandy is on the hunt for a wooden arch to replace the wooden arch that she's selling to her sister Jumblewoman (I'll fill you in on the adventures of Jumblewoman when I get a minute). Ok ok I know it wasn't an arch it was an arbour (save the boat and sea references for someone who's not already done them !!), well an arbour without a seat is in fact just a wooden arch and if you'd seen the arbour's seat then you'd know why I called it a wooden arch.... any how we make it to Herratic's Wood Yard, filled with arches, timber posts, trellice (and all sorts of other things I can't spell). There are about 3 wooden arches for sale. Now bear in mind that a wooden arch consists of four posts, a top bit and some trellice between them, soooo £180 would seem a reasonable price to pay n'est pas ?, I DON'T FINK SO.
Apparently we don't want any old wooden arch (what is this "we" business pale face ?), oh no, we're after a chunky one with rounded posts, sounds like a damn fine idea to me....
I did point out to mandy that a wooden arch doesn't have any where to sit and it's generally used as an entrace to somewhere...therefore putting it at the end of the garden, right next to the back fence might not be such a great idea...but how wrong could I be...apparently there's a stone bench (oh christ!!!) that can be put there...thoughts of musical stone benches spring into my mind and that bugger is heavy !
We leave said wood yard, summarily unimpressed, and head towards cashbase to see if they do any...apparently not, still we "needed" some bits from there so £15 later (a bloody good trip if you ask me), and head home archless....
Tuesday 24th May 2005:
08:00: Shhhhheeeeeeeeeettttttt!!!! The alarm is going bonkers and rightly so, it's bloody 8am and Ryan is still playing his playstation, is undressed, had no breakfast and has to be at school in 20 minutes !!! aaagggghhhh... Oh yeah and for good measure, it's also Mandy's birthday....I can't write in here the expletives I wanted to, "Cre8 oversleeps on Mandy's special day shocker - again !!!", any how I rush Ryan along, getting him dressed and he tears himself away long enough to eat his breakfast, Jack ha ! Jack is still in bed, still unconcious...
08:05: I bring a cup of tea to the birthday girl and explain to her the situation, apologising profusely, I give her, her cards from the boys and she very nicely says that it doesn't matter and she'll open her presents from the boys when they get back after school...I'm still annoyed..
08:10: Leave to take Ryan to school, I'll be back to take Jack in a bit...Drop Ryan off at the ASDABMoreExpensive lights and race back home, in time to find Jack as slow as you like eating his breakfast....
08:30: I'm in a blind panic, POD is putting his shoes on as slow as he likes, and has completely forgotten that it's Mum's birthday, Ryan at least gave the cursory "Happy Birthday", still when you're 9 there are other things on your mind I guess....
08:35: I manage to drop Jack just in time and then back home for a collapse and heart attack.
10:00: As promised Mandy and I are off in to town to go shopping with her birthday money, there is CCTV of me being dragged kicking and screaming in to the centre, (that was deliberate), I'm hoping to get on Crimewatchanddonothing this month....
14:00: We stop for lunch, knowing that we have to pick Jack up at 3:20pm sooo an hour and 20 minutes to get served, in PizzaShed ? Ha ? Fat chance... Luckily Mandy manages to phone Lynne (her friend) to ask if she could pick up Jack.
15:00: We're on the way out of town, even Mandy has had enough !!! (hold the back page)
15:30: Parked up outside Lynne's house, waiting for her to get back from school.
16:00: Back home with Jack and Ryan saunters in....present time!!!
16:30: Ryan's present a very nice bangle that Mandy had chosen goes down a storm, Jack has chosen a new notebook and some fancy pens, and they've both given her a Vase and Candle holder again which she chose, my present was spent during the day (well some of it was), and as a token gift, I've given her her very own toolbox, complete with Hammer (oh god) and screwdriver sets. I'm a little worried about the spirit level since I know this will mean my shelves etc will now really have to be level !!!
17:30: Over to Dave, Spitfire, and Ollie, feedingofthefivethousand's for dinner, the night before they move !!!! Quite why or how I can't answer, but somehow amongst the chaos of boxes and tape etc, there's a functioning cooker and the evidence would seem to be that it's functioning very well....
Wednesday 25th May 2005:
A day to go down in history....Work was nothing to write home about, Corvette, InvisDave, Quiet Rob, Brentboy, all there all present, but my mind is somewhere else....yup Champions League Final, my team Liverpool are the most unlikely finalists, but hey they're there and I don't care....
19:00:
So it begins, well the hour long mindless drivel pushed out by the so called pundits, who if they say anything, is lost amongst the hours of prose they choose to put in front of their points...
20:00: Kick off ! - Ryan and I are on the edge of our prospective seats....
20:01: Bugger 1 nil to AC Milan, couldn't have started worse if they'd tried....
20:34: Penalty !!! no not given, bloody ref....
20:34-30seconds: Bugger Bugger, 2 nil to AC Milan, this could be a bad night...Ryan has started crying....
20:44: Oh for christ sake this is taking the P!$$ 3 nil to AC Milan - Ryan is crying, screaming and banging his head against the wall...Me I've seen my fair share of complete surrenders in my time and I'm therefore not that surprised, still it's only 3 - 0 so it could be worse (gulp)...
21:00: Second half starts, Didi Hamman is on and the team is playing much better (I think the management slipped them a micky finn at half time and the don't realise they're 3 - 0 down...
21:10: Goal !!! Stevie Gerrard !!!! 3-1 to AC now, still gotta get 2 goals..to force extra time...
21:15: Goal !!! Vladimir Smicer with an absolute thunder bolt from 35 yards, now I'm beginning to beleive, but that last goal could be tricky to come by...
21:25: Penalty !!!! Gerrard hauled down, Ryan is over the moon, I did point out that we have to score the penalty first !!
21:30: Penalty is saved by the AC Milan goalkeeper, but then GOAL !!! Smashed home by Xavi Alonso 3 - 3, I don't think my heart can take much more....
21:45: Extra time !!! ( I really can't take it), they're all over us like a rash, we've got no legs left....I can see a goal coming any time now...
22:14: Header by chevchenko, saved by dudek, rebounds to him 3 yards out, Dudek saves again from point blank range...I tell you, our name is on the cup this year....
22:15: Penalties....gulp, I'm really not looking forward to it....
22:20: AC have missed their first two pen's and we've scored ours...they score their 3rd, John Arne Rise has his saved....2-1 to us on pen's .... 3-2 to us on pens...chevchenko next for AC...he has to score or we win....SAVED !!!! by dudek - 4 -2 to us on pens
22:30: Ryan and me are dancing around the front room, in full view of everyone, I don't care, I really don't care...then my parent instinct comes back..."time to go up now then mate" (like he's gonna sleep !!!)
22:45: We watch the cup presentation and he then goes up gets himself ready and in to bed....
Thursday 27th May 2005:
Morning after the night before, work is a buzz about yesterdays match....Quiet Rob, is telling everyone a hundred reasons why Liverpool shouldn't have been champions, bloody Arsenal fans, should just be pleased, maybe one day they'll win some thing important you never know !!! ;-))
The rest of the day is all a bit pointless, and consists of me surfing, doing some more surfing and then surfing some more....
Friday 28th May 2005:
Last day before a bank holiday weekend hurrrah!!!... The grand wizard comes over, "got a problem, we need to put together something quick for resilient systems", "triffic"...I'm actually looking forward to doing something, ok I've arranged our monthly weekly meeting but that doesn't exactly involve a lot of thinking...
That takes me all day pretty much, so at least I'm occupied....
Monday, May 16, 2005
Adventure 22: 16th May 2005
"how can you sell that, it's falling apart ?....", Lo all, another monday another £7 on offer...it's all a bit slow and boring, the "air conditioning" is obviously playing up since it's far too warm, making us all a little on the sleepy side.
The grand wizard and quiet rob are off on an in house inactive directory training session so it's all the fun of the farm here.
I finished (well I think I've finished) my 3rd attempt at the Overdone proposals and sent that on to the wizard and the skunkmaster so I'm hoping it doesn't come back to me. Trust me hope is all I have left now....
We'll begin I think with...
Friday 13th May 2005:
08:00: Ahhhh a day off, a highlight to the week, I still have to be up to prise Ryan away from his computer game which he hates (clearly since all the shouting he does at the "bloody stupid game"... would indicate this). I have to drop him off at school whilst Mandy takes POD.
08:30: Back and raring to go, checking my email, job ads, applying for the odd one here and there. The reason for the day off is a preselection interview with an employment agency, since it's in Reading, I'm not to bothered about going. Mandy is still umming and ahhing (that'll be coz she's got her finger stuck in the end of her hair dryer !!) as to whether to come or not. I offer the olive branch of Doesn'tMatalan, and now she's convinced. The preselection interview or complete waste of my time (as it's now become known) is at 10:30 so I've a little bit of time to kill before getting ready.
09:00: I've spotted a better paid job on the agency I'm going to see's web site so I contact the agent (0099) via email asking about it.
09:05: Get a reply, apparently that job has gone, and I should be advised that friday is "dress down" day for them. I responded saying I'd dress accordingly.
09:30: Time to go, 1 hour to get to reading, we could be a little early.
10:15: Traffic was heavier than expected, but we made it in plenty of time. I do my usual trick of parking somewhere really suspicious so that every one who passes us peers in at us. I couldn't be a terrorist could I ?
10:30: Parked up and reported to reception, dressed in my shirt tie and smart shoes (I did have some trousers on and they were quite smart too).
10:45: "Hi Paul", a voice comes out of the gloom, walking towards me hand held rigidly in the shaking position, "Terry Osser", "Hi Terry, how are you", I respond, working out what his inital+surname would be. He's dressed in the worst pair of work on your car jeans and a rugby shirt that looks like it's just been played in.
11:00: He takes me to his cafe!! for the interview, I'm feeling less impressed as the minutes pass.
11:30: Interview is over, having filled out a Q&A section on NT4 servers, TCP/IP and othe wonderful stuff, I'm convinced I've got a load of questions wrong, I just can't do tests, I just can't.
11:35: Mandy is sat in the car reading her copy of BLAH! weekly, 10 billion chances to win absolutely sod all, can't be bad. Off to Doesn'tMatalan
11:45: Arrive at said clothing outlet, but another outlet is on both our minds. We wander in to bedsons (curiously a bed shop), trying to look like we're interested in the beds but really trying to see if they have a loo.
11:50: No luck there as we quicken our step out of the deserted shop, salespeople like hawks watching our every move, just waiting for us to pause for just too long meaning they can pounce and say "can I help you with anything" only for one of us to say "No, we're just looking thanks", we make our way to Doesn'tmatalan, desperate by now, I'm seriously considering hiding away in a corner with a vase, when I spot a sales woman, I say sales woman, when I actually mean Missinglink woman. "You don't have toilet we could use by any chance do you ?", I politely ask, "No" she abrubtly replies, the ornament adjusting is obviously getting to her as I can see my interaction is visibly raising her stress levels, "are there any around this area?" I press her, I could interrogate for the gestapo I know it, "No." hmmm, not getting very far, "ok not to worry then", she slopes off as quick as she can naturally move, now the only thing on my mind is finding one, in fact I'm not too bothered which shop keeper I ask. We walk 50 yards to FallapartFurnitureland, and I more or less grab the sales guy by the throat, "do you have a toilet I can use", before he can say "well" the pause was enough, I sense weakness, I'm going for the kill, "just we're a bit desperate" I say eyeing up the cream leather sofa and yet more vases, "err ok, you could use the staff toilets" like I care whether they're staff toilets or not, I mean a toilet is a toilet right ? We're directed to a "STAFF ONLY" sign on a door and I'm shown the door to the Gents toilet, Mandy now desperate herself (she's been eyeing up slightly larger vases), asks where the ladies is, "just behind you he asks" and she goes in. I try the door of the gents to discover it's engaged, the sales man quips "hehe you might have to wait some time...", so I begin looking at cardboard boxes whistfully, he makes his excuses and leaves...about a minute goes by then the door opens, before the guy coming out can say "but these are only for staff..." I'm in an I've locked the door....
12:00: Once we're both done, we do the tour of doesn'tmatalan anyway, I get two DVD's, mandy gets a top and a couple of magnetic notice boards for the boys.
12:20: Back in the car, Mandy suggests we go to B&Q to look at their blinds, the excitement I can barely handle so I suggest we got to Pissy World instead. This works out ok as there's a blind and material shop just down from the mecca of computer geeks like me.
12:25: As soon as I'm through the door the vultures are circling, "can i help you with anythin sir", "No" I abrubtly reply, I wonder around by the gucci speakers and the cool kit, then just around the corner and "can I help you with anything sir?", he's back, "no I'm ok, I'm just browsing" which is code for "sod off git face, I know more about this kit than you'll ever know, and why would I pay your massively overinflated prices any way", I hold back on that but it's a hair trigger it really is.
12:30: Luckily for him Mandy walks in at that point, and I whisk her over to the lovely CD burner section, my one being 12 months old seems to be now toast, in fact if it made toast it'd be a sight more useful than it's being at the moment. £21.99 very nice oh and there's a Peter's one for £25, then the question comes, "wouldn't it be better to get the Peter's one", now then normally I'd just say "yes" or something clever like that but as I can't answer her question I'm stumbling a bit. We decide that the Peter's one is better so we whizz over and pay for it, some CDR pens and 50 CDR's that just happened to be by the side of the till.
12:45: In the blind shop, "I spotted this blind that'd be just right for Ryans room", "jolly good" I reply, getting wallet cramps already, £40 later (not as bad as it could be), we've managed to wedge the blind in to the sports car and are heading back home.
13:15: Back home, Mandy worked, I sodded about doing bits and pieces, then it was time to pick up Jack.
Saturday comes and goes, Dr Who, the main highlight, there's no football coz all the games are on Sunday since it's the last day of the season...Ryan's out on a sleep over with his mate, Jack's amusing himself (I say amusing, sacrificing a virgin or two probably).
Sunday, only one notable thing to report, namely, Southampton's relegation from the premier league. My team Liverpool won, (for a change), champions league final is a week wednesday, the day after Mandy's birthday.
Still another week to look forward too, another £7.00 to earn, I can't wait.
The grand wizard and quiet rob are off on an in house inactive directory training session so it's all the fun of the farm here.
I finished (well I think I've finished) my 3rd attempt at the Overdone proposals and sent that on to the wizard and the skunkmaster so I'm hoping it doesn't come back to me. Trust me hope is all I have left now....
We'll begin I think with...
Friday 13th May 2005:
08:00: Ahhhh a day off, a highlight to the week, I still have to be up to prise Ryan away from his computer game which he hates (clearly since all the shouting he does at the "bloody stupid game"... would indicate this). I have to drop him off at school whilst Mandy takes POD.
08:30: Back and raring to go, checking my email, job ads, applying for the odd one here and there. The reason for the day off is a preselection interview with an employment agency, since it's in Reading, I'm not to bothered about going. Mandy is still umming and ahhing (that'll be coz she's got her finger stuck in the end of her hair dryer !!) as to whether to come or not. I offer the olive branch of Doesn'tMatalan, and now she's convinced. The preselection interview or complete waste of my time (as it's now become known) is at 10:30 so I've a little bit of time to kill before getting ready.
09:00: I've spotted a better paid job on the agency I'm going to see's web site so I contact the agent (0099) via email asking about it.
09:05: Get a reply, apparently that job has gone, and I should be advised that friday is "dress down" day for them. I responded saying I'd dress accordingly.
09:30: Time to go, 1 hour to get to reading, we could be a little early.
10:15: Traffic was heavier than expected, but we made it in plenty of time. I do my usual trick of parking somewhere really suspicious so that every one who passes us peers in at us. I couldn't be a terrorist could I ?
10:30: Parked up and reported to reception, dressed in my shirt tie and smart shoes (I did have some trousers on and they were quite smart too).
10:45: "Hi Paul", a voice comes out of the gloom, walking towards me hand held rigidly in the shaking position, "Terry Osser", "Hi Terry, how are you", I respond, working out what his inital+surname would be. He's dressed in the worst pair of work on your car jeans and a rugby shirt that looks like it's just been played in.
11:00: He takes me to his cafe!! for the interview, I'm feeling less impressed as the minutes pass.
11:30: Interview is over, having filled out a Q&A section on NT4 servers, TCP/IP and othe wonderful stuff, I'm convinced I've got a load of questions wrong, I just can't do tests, I just can't.
11:35: Mandy is sat in the car reading her copy of BLAH! weekly, 10 billion chances to win absolutely sod all, can't be bad. Off to Doesn'tMatalan
11:45: Arrive at said clothing outlet, but another outlet is on both our minds. We wander in to bedsons (curiously a bed shop), trying to look like we're interested in the beds but really trying to see if they have a loo.
11:50: No luck there as we quicken our step out of the deserted shop, salespeople like hawks watching our every move, just waiting for us to pause for just too long meaning they can pounce and say "can I help you with anything" only for one of us to say "No, we're just looking thanks", we make our way to Doesn'tmatalan, desperate by now, I'm seriously considering hiding away in a corner with a vase, when I spot a sales woman, I say sales woman, when I actually mean Missinglink woman. "You don't have toilet we could use by any chance do you ?", I politely ask, "No" she abrubtly replies, the ornament adjusting is obviously getting to her as I can see my interaction is visibly raising her stress levels, "are there any around this area?" I press her, I could interrogate for the gestapo I know it, "No." hmmm, not getting very far, "ok not to worry then", she slopes off as quick as she can naturally move, now the only thing on my mind is finding one, in fact I'm not too bothered which shop keeper I ask. We walk 50 yards to FallapartFurnitureland, and I more or less grab the sales guy by the throat, "do you have a toilet I can use", before he can say "well" the pause was enough, I sense weakness, I'm going for the kill, "just we're a bit desperate" I say eyeing up the cream leather sofa and yet more vases, "err ok, you could use the staff toilets" like I care whether they're staff toilets or not, I mean a toilet is a toilet right ? We're directed to a "STAFF ONLY" sign on a door and I'm shown the door to the Gents toilet, Mandy now desperate herself (she's been eyeing up slightly larger vases), asks where the ladies is, "just behind you he asks" and she goes in. I try the door of the gents to discover it's engaged, the sales man quips "hehe you might have to wait some time...", so I begin looking at cardboard boxes whistfully, he makes his excuses and leaves...about a minute goes by then the door opens, before the guy coming out can say "but these are only for staff..." I'm in an I've locked the door....
12:00: Once we're both done, we do the tour of doesn'tmatalan anyway, I get two DVD's, mandy gets a top and a couple of magnetic notice boards for the boys.
12:20: Back in the car, Mandy suggests we go to B&Q to look at their blinds, the excitement I can barely handle so I suggest we got to Pissy World instead. This works out ok as there's a blind and material shop just down from the mecca of computer geeks like me.
12:25: As soon as I'm through the door the vultures are circling, "can i help you with anythin sir", "No" I abrubtly reply, I wonder around by the gucci speakers and the cool kit, then just around the corner and "can I help you with anything sir?", he's back, "no I'm ok, I'm just browsing" which is code for "sod off git face, I know more about this kit than you'll ever know, and why would I pay your massively overinflated prices any way", I hold back on that but it's a hair trigger it really is.
12:30: Luckily for him Mandy walks in at that point, and I whisk her over to the lovely CD burner section, my one being 12 months old seems to be now toast, in fact if it made toast it'd be a sight more useful than it's being at the moment. £21.99 very nice oh and there's a Peter's one for £25, then the question comes, "wouldn't it be better to get the Peter's one", now then normally I'd just say "yes" or something clever like that but as I can't answer her question I'm stumbling a bit. We decide that the Peter's one is better so we whizz over and pay for it, some CDR pens and 50 CDR's that just happened to be by the side of the till.
12:45: In the blind shop, "I spotted this blind that'd be just right for Ryans room", "jolly good" I reply, getting wallet cramps already, £40 later (not as bad as it could be), we've managed to wedge the blind in to the sports car and are heading back home.
13:15: Back home, Mandy worked, I sodded about doing bits and pieces, then it was time to pick up Jack.
Saturday comes and goes, Dr Who, the main highlight, there's no football coz all the games are on Sunday since it's the last day of the season...Ryan's out on a sleep over with his mate, Jack's amusing himself (I say amusing, sacrificing a virgin or two probably).
Sunday, only one notable thing to report, namely, Southampton's relegation from the premier league. My team Liverpool won, (for a change), champions league final is a week wednesday, the day after Mandy's birthday.
Still another week to look forward too, another £7.00 to earn, I can't wait.
