Adventures of the nothing man

"no no I really think we should buy a Rover...", lo all, ok a cheap jibe there but in years to come these last couple of weeks will make for interesting reading (at least for me they will).

It's Tuesday, tuesday is a real nothing day, it's not half way through the week, it's not even the beginning of the week...

Anyhow to summarise the world and local events over the last week or so...

1. Tony Bleaaar - calls a general election
Triffic, can't wait.

2. The Pope dies - you'd have thought something this big would have at least warranted a couple of TV specials !!

3. Charles and Camilla finally tie the knot

4. I'm still employed by Don't Be Daft international.

oh yes and there's only 11 days until my birthday !!!

Saturday 16th April 2005:

Ryan is back at stage school so this can mean only one thing...I'm back at Swimming with Jack.
I've got a headache and I really don't fancy it, but i can't let him down I really can't.

After lunch (well about 3pm actually) we assemble our bits and load up our swim bag.
We turn up at the swimming baths and there's a little bit of a queue but not anything really to write home about.

The girl on reception says hello and I say "1 and 1 please", that's really cool speak for 1 adult and 1 son of satan, but she's young and pretty so I have to do my cool guy act..yeah right !

"ok, well I do have to tell you that the 20m pool closes at 4 and the green slide isn't working and the olympic size swimming pool (with lanes) is closed for a competition", now not having a watch or a method of telling the time I have no idea that it is 3:45pm but it didn't sound particularly good, anyhow like a fool I pay my money and we walk towards the family who've obviously never been before because they're actually attempting to put on the shoe covers, Jack and I walk past in to the changing rooms. We get about 30 minutes swimming, so not a complete waste of time and then the over officious 15 year old who's "in charge" blows his whistle several times and shouts some thing unintelligble. Then siren goes and the words "fnah blor chah snee" come across the tannoy, obviously this means the pool is closing, but you'd never know now would you.

We make our way along with the other 500 let down customers to what Jack and I call "The Fluids", I think it somes up swimming pools generally, since I'm all to painfully aware that, that isn't water I'm swimming in....all of a sudden the mediterranean (I know) looks clean.

We do a bit of that and then Jack decides we're going home as he has some Yu Gi Oh cards to sort out and some repeats of a repeat to watch on childrens telly...

Saturday evening, was made up of watching Dr Who? on the telly and not much else.

Sunday 17th April 2005:
Mandy calls me to have a look at our washing machine. I look at it and go "wow a washing machine", "no it's not spinning" she explains, I'm really not looking forward to this but I decide to take the filter out of the pump, in order to do this I have to lift the washing machine up by about 6 - 8 inches in order to get a washing up bowl under it to drain the water out of it.

This is achieved by the Cre8 patented washing machine lifting system or 4 old paint tins as it's known to everyone else. The idea is that you put two at the front of the machine, tilt it back, slide them under, push the machine forward and slide the other two underneath it, it works really well... I extract the filter and find nothing, so while still on it's tins, I run up a rinse cycle having Mandy first explain to me what a washing cycle is and how to achieve one on a washing machine... That's it then the motors knackered. "Why don't you phone my dad", Mandy suggests, "ok I said"..."Sounds like the motor's knackered to me", is his response...I'm feeling this is going to be expensive...

.......So we order a new washing machine and in disgust (partly due to the stench coming from the drain pipe) wheel the machine outside the front garden for them to come and collect.


Monday 18th April 2005:
Monday started like any other day to be honest, documentation still needed doing and I still didn't fancy doing it, I have a banging headache, in fact I had one all weekend if truth be known.

I make it to work (just) after nearly killing myself tripping past the washing machine that is outside our front door.

Today is a bit more interesting, there's a panic on, the new IT director Chris treincarnated, has been to Overdone, and is not impressed and wants action, yeah right... The Wizard, Silent rob and myself take refuge in, err his office, to discuss options, we come up with an option that I designed (heh if you've got it, you've got it !).

I also take the opportunity to push for replacing their file servers with a WAFS (wide are file server) system, so that we can drag all their kit back to head office...the path to world domination is rejoined !!!