Thursday, March 10, 2005
Adventure 14: 10th March 2005
"I don't care I'm not taking it back now...." Evening all, it's been a couple of days since Monday, well ok it's been 3 but who's counting. Still trying to get my documentation finished, which would be helped if certain individuals would stop keep on changing the design at the last bloody minute...still that's a whole can of worms...
08:40: I'm early ! what the hell is going on ? The looks of surprise and shock on people's faces is quite something to behold. I walk down the partition made corridor towards my desk to discover that all the other desks have gone !!! I say "good morning" as I walk past certain inmates, sorry staff and the same to the grand magician who's now going to be in tragically early as he's moved and his journey time is now 20 minutes and not 2 hours doh!. I'm met by the customary but polite silence that I expected.
08:45: Brentboy is in talking with the grand magician, about something or other, can't quite work out what it is but there are raised but polite voices, I love it I really do.
08:50: Judy Knockerty arrives to talk in soft scottish to her mate alex, whilst adjusting her gaping suit jacket. "Just get em out for christ sake and put us all out of our misery" I think, quietly to my self.
08:55: The wizarad himself the grand master, is being really nice to me for some reason, it's very disconcerting, but it may be something to do with the bucket load of emails I've been sending him just recently, the more I send him, the more he's tied up reading them and the more peace brenty and me get.
09:00: Andy Nomanisa has turned up, one of the Pirate systems insultants, he's looking for the grand wizard, "sorry he's not here, must be in a meeting or something...", there's a sort of uncomfortable silence, he's hovering for some reason, "hmmm ok" he says (very intelligent these insultants), "you guys must be nearly done now", I say trying to spark a little magic into the conversation (it's not working), "yeah, would have been here longer had we won the outsourcing contract", "you wouldn't want that, beleive me" I assure him..and with that he's gone.
10:00: Invisible Dave ! Has made an appearance, he's been here all week obviously, no I jest, up from portsmouth on the red eye, made it in to do some server moves, except all the change requests he's put in that need approving before he actually moves the servers have been put on hold! He's not happy. All he's doing is moving kit from one room to another, most of the servers have been decomissioned in any case and the rest, well I don't think anyone would notice if they weren't up for 10 minutes or so, still procedures are procedures....Any how he's a bit irate.
11:00: Quiet Rob, is here aswell my god, yesterday was good as it was a full house then too, and an almost argument ensued between my good self and invisible dave to do with unix etc etc, Quiet spent the whole time nodding, I'm sure at one point he nearly said something but turns out that was just a squeaky floor tile, my mistake.
11:05: A discussion is abound about spam and banned word lists, excellent something i can add my two penneth to. "...so basically the word list is complete", this is the word list that contains all the naughty swear words in it and it's taken them two weeks to agree it, so just to pour acid on to their burns I add, "so Dont Be Daft, is an international company, with non english speaking users at sites across the world","yes", says the wizard, curiously, "well just thought you should add some profanity to the list that isn't english I add", god I hate my self sometimes...
12:00: I decide to phone Nobbleyerpc to see what the deal is with this PC of my niece's. I've been to their website and filled in all the supplied details and described the fault, IT DOESN'T WORK, and I've got the customary "thank you for your email..." email's, " a person who doesn't know what they're talking about will contact you within 8 business hours", which actually doesn't translate into anything at all, apart from they may contact me sometime later this week, 8hours !!!? I think they've had long enough so I phone them. The "customer service" girl is obviously having one of those weeks (if you catch my drift) as she said "thank you for phoning Nobleyerpc how can I help you" said in the "what the hell do you want" style. "Well", I say trying not to be intimidated, but it's too late, "My niece bought this PC just under a year ago...." I feel the heat of an interrogation lamp in my face "your niece eh.....", "just under a year ago eh..." "anyway she's asked me to look in to why it seems to not be working properly and I think it's the motherboard", "oh really" the cust servs rep replies, "well have you got an order number or your customer number?", "well no because I didn't order it, but I have got a ticket number that's been sent to me via your email system", I say helpfully, " well that's no good to me, I can't use the ticket number...", "how come", I ask, "how come what?" she replies gruffly, "how come you can't look up my ticket number ?", "because I haven't got a system that'll do it","so why send me one then ?", I ask, "so you know what number the email is", she replies, "what is the post code?", "I don't know", I reply, "I don't live there, as I say it's my niece's PC, tell you what I'll get the customer number and order number and phone back this afternoon" (when you've developed a personality.
12:30 Lunch - over the mum in laws, and Grandalf the white has had a bit of problem with one of his eyes, (that'll teach him to play tennis with it!!). He's been up his loft re-pointing the breeze blocks holding his roof up, because "the surveyor might notive that there's some mortar missing", now I don't know about you but I've never seen a surveyor take any notice of the mortar course in a loft, but for some reason he needs to do it.
12:45 Grandalf has been to the doctors and according to Mom in law catering inc, it's a "jurassic cyst", right I say looking slightly bemused, "do you mean a subaceous cyst ?", I ask helpfully, "yeah somet like that", she replies, "bacon sandwich ?", "go on then" I reply, I just can't resist it.
13:00 apparently Grandalf the white is going to hospital this afternoon to have...an oil change, his eye looked at, funny that I thought, thought it was the eyes that did the looking....
13:30: back at work
13:45: The phone rings, it's the wife, with those details for that PC.
14:00: I ring nobbleyerpc and wait, plinky plonky plinky plonky, "your call is important to us, but your are in a queue that never goes down, you are at position 87", "christ!", click "hello thank you for calling nobbleyerpc customer services", a voice breaks through, still confused how I can of got to position 0 from 87 in heartbeat, (maybe I'm a time traveller hmmm), I explain all over again, about how I'm phoning for my niece etc etc, "do you have ticket number from the email" she asks, "yes", I reply and I give it to her, "ok I'll get someone to call you back immediately". Just a second that number is completely useless, I remember distinctly asking what the point of it was on the snotty email I sent them before lunch, aha!, stroppy emails do work sometimes ;-)).
14:30: Having explained that I was phoning on behalf of my niece and that the order and customer number I've supplied are actually for her and not me, they then proceed to phone my brother in law to tell him they have replied to my original email (fat lot of good telling him will do)...The wife sends me the email, which is basically instructions on how to return stuff and a returns number....RESULT !!
15:00: I feel like a hot chocolate ! So damn it I'm having one. As I walk back I remember the conversation with the wife yesterday....."how'd you go in town today...", "well I bought this jacket..." she says nervously, "another bloody jacket ?...you've got 105 of them", well this one is a bit more padded and it's got a furry hood...", "triffic" i think, but it is a nice jacket, and I don't care that much that she's bought it out of her family sorry Mandy allowance ;-)) At lunchtime however she did comment to me that POD had said that it was nice but it did make her look a bit like stacy slater from eastenders, kids can be so cruel sometimes can't they....
16:00: This documentation is driving me mad, so I decide to do another "My Contribution" idea, suggesting the outright ban on personal web based email as a security and productivity issue, that'll go down a storm but then I am evil.
17:30: Home time, I've survived another day, thank god...now just gotta amuse the POD, fortunately there's a wildlife on one programme about dragons, so that's gonna keep him quiet for at least 10 minutes....
Incidentally, the blind is still hanging, looking like the weekend could be expensive, as the wife's talking about doing something as a family on sunday, I haven't completely ruled out the possibility that that may involve a trip to homebase, you never know......
08:40: I'm early ! what the hell is going on ? The looks of surprise and shock on people's faces is quite something to behold. I walk down the partition made corridor towards my desk to discover that all the other desks have gone !!! I say "good morning" as I walk past certain inmates, sorry staff and the same to the grand magician who's now going to be in tragically early as he's moved and his journey time is now 20 minutes and not 2 hours doh!. I'm met by the customary but polite silence that I expected.
08:45: Brentboy is in talking with the grand magician, about something or other, can't quite work out what it is but there are raised but polite voices, I love it I really do.
08:50: Judy Knockerty arrives to talk in soft scottish to her mate alex, whilst adjusting her gaping suit jacket. "Just get em out for christ sake and put us all out of our misery" I think, quietly to my self.
08:55: The wizarad himself the grand master, is being really nice to me for some reason, it's very disconcerting, but it may be something to do with the bucket load of emails I've been sending him just recently, the more I send him, the more he's tied up reading them and the more peace brenty and me get.
09:00: Andy Nomanisa has turned up, one of the Pirate systems insultants, he's looking for the grand wizard, "sorry he's not here, must be in a meeting or something...", there's a sort of uncomfortable silence, he's hovering for some reason, "hmmm ok" he says (very intelligent these insultants), "you guys must be nearly done now", I say trying to spark a little magic into the conversation (it's not working), "yeah, would have been here longer had we won the outsourcing contract", "you wouldn't want that, beleive me" I assure him..and with that he's gone.
10:00: Invisible Dave ! Has made an appearance, he's been here all week obviously, no I jest, up from portsmouth on the red eye, made it in to do some server moves, except all the change requests he's put in that need approving before he actually moves the servers have been put on hold! He's not happy. All he's doing is moving kit from one room to another, most of the servers have been decomissioned in any case and the rest, well I don't think anyone would notice if they weren't up for 10 minutes or so, still procedures are procedures....Any how he's a bit irate.
11:00: Quiet Rob, is here aswell my god, yesterday was good as it was a full house then too, and an almost argument ensued between my good self and invisible dave to do with unix etc etc, Quiet spent the whole time nodding, I'm sure at one point he nearly said something but turns out that was just a squeaky floor tile, my mistake.
11:05: A discussion is abound about spam and banned word lists, excellent something i can add my two penneth to. "...so basically the word list is complete", this is the word list that contains all the naughty swear words in it and it's taken them two weeks to agree it, so just to pour acid on to their burns I add, "so Dont Be Daft, is an international company, with non english speaking users at sites across the world","yes", says the wizard, curiously, "well just thought you should add some profanity to the list that isn't english I add", god I hate my self sometimes...
12:00: I decide to phone Nobbleyerpc to see what the deal is with this PC of my niece's. I've been to their website and filled in all the supplied details and described the fault, IT DOESN'T WORK, and I've got the customary "thank you for your email..." email's, " a person who doesn't know what they're talking about will contact you within 8 business hours", which actually doesn't translate into anything at all, apart from they may contact me sometime later this week, 8hours !!!? I think they've had long enough so I phone them. The "customer service" girl is obviously having one of those weeks (if you catch my drift) as she said "thank you for phoning Nobleyerpc how can I help you" said in the "what the hell do you want" style. "Well", I say trying not to be intimidated, but it's too late, "My niece bought this PC just under a year ago...." I feel the heat of an interrogation lamp in my face "your niece eh.....", "just under a year ago eh..." "anyway she's asked me to look in to why it seems to not be working properly and I think it's the motherboard", "oh really" the cust servs rep replies, "well have you got an order number or your customer number?", "well no because I didn't order it, but I have got a ticket number that's been sent to me via your email system", I say helpfully, " well that's no good to me, I can't use the ticket number...", "how come", I ask, "how come what?" she replies gruffly, "how come you can't look up my ticket number ?", "because I haven't got a system that'll do it","so why send me one then ?", I ask, "so you know what number the email is", she replies, "what is the post code?", "I don't know", I reply, "I don't live there, as I say it's my niece's PC, tell you what I'll get the customer number and order number and phone back this afternoon" (when you've developed a personality.
12:30 Lunch - over the mum in laws, and Grandalf the white has had a bit of problem with one of his eyes, (that'll teach him to play tennis with it!!). He's been up his loft re-pointing the breeze blocks holding his roof up, because "the surveyor might notive that there's some mortar missing", now I don't know about you but I've never seen a surveyor take any notice of the mortar course in a loft, but for some reason he needs to do it.
12:45 Grandalf has been to the doctors and according to Mom in law catering inc, it's a "jurassic cyst", right I say looking slightly bemused, "do you mean a subaceous cyst ?", I ask helpfully, "yeah somet like that", she replies, "bacon sandwich ?", "go on then" I reply, I just can't resist it.
13:00 apparently Grandalf the white is going to hospital this afternoon to have...an oil change, his eye looked at, funny that I thought, thought it was the eyes that did the looking....
13:30: back at work
13:45: The phone rings, it's the wife, with those details for that PC.
14:00: I ring nobbleyerpc and wait, plinky plonky plinky plonky, "your call is important to us, but your are in a queue that never goes down, you are at position 87", "christ!", click "hello thank you for calling nobbleyerpc customer services", a voice breaks through, still confused how I can of got to position 0 from 87 in heartbeat, (maybe I'm a time traveller hmmm), I explain all over again, about how I'm phoning for my niece etc etc, "do you have ticket number from the email" she asks, "yes", I reply and I give it to her, "ok I'll get someone to call you back immediately". Just a second that number is completely useless, I remember distinctly asking what the point of it was on the snotty email I sent them before lunch, aha!, stroppy emails do work sometimes ;-)).
14:30: Having explained that I was phoning on behalf of my niece and that the order and customer number I've supplied are actually for her and not me, they then proceed to phone my brother in law to tell him they have replied to my original email (fat lot of good telling him will do)...The wife sends me the email, which is basically instructions on how to return stuff and a returns number....RESULT !!
15:00: I feel like a hot chocolate ! So damn it I'm having one. As I walk back I remember the conversation with the wife yesterday....."how'd you go in town today...", "well I bought this jacket..." she says nervously, "another bloody jacket ?...you've got 105 of them", well this one is a bit more padded and it's got a furry hood...", "triffic" i think, but it is a nice jacket, and I don't care that much that she's bought it out of her family sorry Mandy allowance ;-)) At lunchtime however she did comment to me that POD had said that it was nice but it did make her look a bit like stacy slater from eastenders, kids can be so cruel sometimes can't they....
16:00: This documentation is driving me mad, so I decide to do another "My Contribution" idea, suggesting the outright ban on personal web based email as a security and productivity issue, that'll go down a storm but then I am evil.
17:30: Home time, I've survived another day, thank god...now just gotta amuse the POD, fortunately there's a wildlife on one programme about dragons, so that's gonna keep him quiet for at least 10 minutes....
Incidentally, the blind is still hanging, looking like the weekend could be expensive, as the wife's talking about doing something as a family on sunday, I haven't completely ruled out the possibility that that may involve a trip to homebase, you never know......
# posted by cre8 @ 3:16 PM 
